One of very early memories of mine includes the day when I asked my mom seriously "Would you have loved me in the same way, if I was born with darker color ?".
I don't remember exactly what provoked me to ask amma this question. I was 5 yrs old, and was a very dark-colored, girl (though the skin color lightened a little bit, when I grew up!). On summer vacation (April-May) I used to live with my numerous cousins in my dad's house. Some how, there, grown-ups used to compare each and every kid, on the basis of skin-color & smartness. It was very frequent for them to say "swathi, is the darkest among all..I don't know how she got this color". With mom, I didn't have this comparison, cos I didn't have any siblings at all.
I don't remember exactly what provoked me to ask amma this question. I was 5 yrs old, and was a very dark-colored, girl (though the skin color lightened a little bit, when I grew up!). On summer vacation (April-May) I used to live with my numerous cousins in my dad's house. Some how, there, grown-ups used to compare each and every kid, on the basis of skin-color & smartness. It was very frequent for them to say "swathi, is the darkest among all..I don't know how she got this color". With mom, I didn't have this comparison, cos I didn't have any siblings at all. I had seven cousins with me at that time, aging from 3 to 6. So I had this odd feeling creeping into my mind that I was the ugliest among them, cos of my color. Nobody told me that I was ugly. They just told me "Even if swathi is the darkest of all, she is smart". This "...even if..." phrase used to cling on to my mind and one day I asked amma the above question. She was shocked. She told me "who told you this?" and I said..."...I just asked..that's all..". Then she gave me a lecture about the relation between mom and kids....I asked her "Suppose I was the color of , my hair(black), even then would you have loved me in the same manner?" She said a malayalam saying in answer which meant "even for a crow, its kid is the best one". And I was sure that I looked better than a crow!! 
She told me "who told you this?" and I said..."...I just asked..that's all..". Then she gave me a lecture about the relation between mom and kids....I asked her "Suppose I was the color of , my hair(black), even then would you have loved me in the same manner?" She said a malayalam saying in answer which meant "even for a crow, its kid is the best one". And I was sure that I looked better than a crow!! Now, I remembered about this incident cos, today I saw my cousin's 2 kids...2 daughters. Elder is 3 yr old and younger is 1 yr...elder was very dark in color (just my color, when I was of her age!) and the younger was a very fair and chubby baby. It shocked me that all my relatives who saw them together , was taken aback at their sight. They couldn't resist passing comments like "Ohhh....elder didn't get young ones' color...how can they be so different????". 
I noticed, this elder kid (3 yr old) gaping at the commentator's mouth with so much puzzle in her eyes, that my heart went out for her. I asked my aunt to stop saying that, cos I knew this was going to affect her....but when I stopped one aunt from commenting, another one would have been started like...."...still....why didn't she get that fair color of younger one.....". And this kid was hearing all these comments.....
I noticed, this elder kid (3 yr old) gaping at the commentator's mouth with so much puzzle in her eyes, that my heart went out for her. I asked my aunt to stop saying that, cos I knew this was going to affect her....but when I stopped one aunt from commenting, another one would have been started like...."...still....why didn't she get that fair color of younger one.....". And this kid was hearing all these comments.....I suddenly told her "Baby, u r the smartest...u know that?...u go to kindergarten... U have so many friends..u know so many games....u must teach your younger sister, all that u learn from school cos she doesn't know anything about school, now " I said this to encourage her spirits. And she said..."NO, I wont teach her anything. Let her study on her own". I know her baby mind was hurt cos of the shower of comparisons she got for her skin-color. I don't know why these grown-ups forget this......
This incident will sound like an odd thing to non-Indians. But as we all Indians know, in Indian society , being fair-colored is a privileged situation.
They r treated with adoration, at the first meeting, itself. And sometimes I have even felt that , they can even get away with anything !!!!. Even in marriage markets (yes, marriage is a kind of market in India ! ) preference is given ONLY to fair colored girls. One of my cousin's(guy) parents , once refused to agree for a marriage(arranged), just cos the girl was a bit dark in color. They even told her parents that "your girl is dark". When I heard this incident, I was shocked. She was highly educated and had a good career. She was the team-lead in her office. They didn't give that qualities of her a damn...
They r treated with adoration, at the first meeting, itself. And sometimes I have even felt that , they can even get away with anything !!!!. Even in marriage markets (yes, marriage is a kind of market in India ! ) preference is given ONLY to fair colored girls. One of my cousin's(guy) parents , once refused to agree for a marriage(arranged), just cos the girl was a bit dark in color. They even told her parents that "your girl is dark". When I heard this incident, I was shocked. She was highly educated and had a good career. She was the team-lead in her office. They didn't give that qualities of her a damn...I am puzzled about this behavior of ppl. When I asked my friends and cousins why do u always give skin color, so much importance, they answered me this " I want my baby, to be very fair, so I will marry only a fair girl". I asked then "What if, the baby is dark. Will u hate him/her". And they say "I wont hate. But I still prefer fair babies only". It makes me crazy....no one wishes for a baby who is NOT handicapped, NOT mentally-retarded or anything like that. They are more worried about its skin-color...can u believe????? I want to scream to the world, that this is not fair....but ppl are soooooo mean....even with babies...?????
I want to scream to the world, that this is not fair....but ppl are soooooo mean....even with babies...?????I usually ask expecting moms' to pray for a healthy, physically and mentally normal baby....but they are all so worried about babies skin color that they eat saffron-in-milk( its a belief ), to have a fair baby...
This is India....and this is the typical Indian society...where fair color signifies something more privileged than the usual !!!
I am so worried about the discrimination that a dark skinned baby, may face, when she grows up!!!
NOTE: This discrimination seems to be directed only towards all the girl-children in India.
OHHHH Swathi..You are beautiful as you are ..I know how it feels to feel different with your own parents ..Germans(True Full blooded) seem to gravitate towards the sons of the family (I am part german but act more American)and the daughters are basically ignored ..So I understand how it feels to feel different or maybe if things were different, they would treat you differently but you are who you are and YOU must accept that regardless of what your parents or anyone else things..God has made a beautiful young woman and he loves you and all else is not important...With time , you will understand what I mean if you donot already..Love and Blessinsg to you Joanna
ReplyDeleteyou are so right Swathi! Colour of the skin does seem to be very important to many people. But let me say something......
ReplyDeleteYou will find these thoughts voiced most often by women only! My aunties used to irritate me whenever i got dark when playing in the sun and compliment me when i got fair by sitting at home doing nothing!
U normally find ladies only voicing all these foolish thoughts.
Seriously u wud think colour of the skin is the most important quality for a person! I mean come on--- u may be brilliant, very talented, smart, but when u are caliberated based by your skin colour only, it makes me wonder whether wether the other qualities are just a waste.....
Me, being a male had to face all these kaala gora comments.... There was a time i used to think of wearing sunscreen lotion during my cricket matches... Imagine bothering about skin colour when i am playing for my state! Anyways, now i dont care any more...
But yes u r right Swathi, this disctinction based on colour is unfair and women do have to face the brunt of it
i agreed with you swathi for making differance in color for child.....its very unfair.....also u r right for marriage.....marriage market...as still many are facing this prob. i have seen my cousin sis facing this problem for having dark skin...she was also highly educated but get refusal for dark skin...later she found her solemate....also those people are stupid to think that to have fair wife....can give birth to fair baby....i don't belive this.... as one of my friend she is in paris now....she is so fair and my jijajee is too dark....u know their 1st baby was fair as my friend and 2nd boy is dark as my jija.....
ReplyDeleteaspecting mother...just think abt ur baby health....don't worry abt their skin....its god gift......no one can do anything...take care...
Swathi...again nice blog...
swathzzzz...
ReplyDeletewho the hell cares if you are black??? what's important is what's within your heart...people would not recognized you in color if you gone they will remember you in all good deeds you've made in this world....
REMEMBER GOD doesn't required white people to enter into HIS kingdom...wether you are white...black..yellow ....tan...you are loved by GOD....beauty is useless but the character is the best...and you are not ugly ok you are the one of the prettiest woman in the world...
krizzz
JOANNA---thanks alo for ur love and blessings...but its NOT me they r harassing,now...i am just worrd abt the attitude of Indians towards this "color". i juts got thru with less hurt, i suppose...
ReplyDeletebut,kids cant forget hurt...
ROSHAN---u know it better, i say...what u've said is absolutely correct!
i have seen even guys/men saying this color comment, yaar!
ANU--yes,it happens when 2 kids of same parents look differently.then discrimination cross limits, i think.
SWEET_KRISTINE---i think u didnt get me..its not me thats hurt dear. its not me, i am worried about. its the 3 yr old kid (other kids!) on whom these grown-ups comment(my cousin's kid!). i am 28 now...color never bothers me at this age..but for a 3yr old, it can crash her whole world!! its the attitude of the ppl, that i was trying to tell about, in Indian community.
Sweetoo...remember we had a similar discution few days back, and i was saying that i dream ab my girl to be with a bit darker skin, long dark hair, and bit full lips, u said to me the same things u r sayingin the blog now, and i had to agree with u, bcoz as long as the kid is healthy then nothing else matter, i am really happy that u have posted this blog so that maybe others who have certain dreams, on how theyr kids will look, will WAKE UP, and they willpary for theyr kids health.
ReplyDeleteI loved this blog,
With Love,
--Tanu--
hey..i agree with u swathi....this type of discrimination is prevalent a lot...in brahmin families like us color plays n important role...im unlucky to have dark pigmentation if i go into the sun for an hour or to the beach just for a ride.There have been instances when ppl scolded me to "do something to my face" to make it normal....and i know how bad it can get....one mean aunt called my brother some derogatory term cuz he's dark skinned...i never spoke to her again.Now he is soo handsome..people are behind him...but bcuz of this stupid aunt my brother has a complex..so it can be hurtful.
ReplyDeletelove,
deepthi
I get this comment "Blackie" very often. But i wont give a care on it. Coz i also get compliment "black beauty". I never regret for my complexion because my dad taught me being beautiful internally than external appearance. He always says confidence is the best asset one can hold. If you have it, you can take -ve comments as challenges. He always call me "Black Gold", and i enjoy to be called so. life is beautiful as long as your heart and soul are beautiful without any evil thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThis entry has hit so close to home. My daughter has an interesting outlook on it though, which may be true, for all I know. She says the reason people prefer lighter-skinned females is because WAY-BACK-WHEN if you had a ligher-skinned wife/woman it meant that she stood home to take care of the children/house/etc, meanwhile a darker-skinned woman would be portrayed as one who never stood home taking care of what she's "supposed" to be taking care of... So it's kind of an inbred thought.
ReplyDeleteBut to make comment on your entry, I myself prefer a darker-skinned child. I love how Eric & Christine (child # 4 & 3) look during the summer. Ironically each of my children are darker than the previous one. I always thought my last would be the darkest, but she ended up being the lightest of them all. This is not to say I love either of them less, but just pointing out differences.
It's sad that there are so many prejudices in this world. People should learn that we all come from one race... and that's the human race... We all bleed one color.
Also sorry to hear your cousin's daughter has to deal with such prejudice. Hopefully she will grow up like you and know that it's not the color of your skin that makes you who you are. **Hugs**
very true swathi.this thing is hapening around us daily.as u said during marriage times girls face this problem very much.i have seen people saying to the face tht they will think abt the marriage as the girl is little bit dark.very sad tht its still happening and nobody dares to stop this.
ReplyDeletebtwn whtz in the outer appearance.outer apperance alone is not gonna help for a happy living.
hai swathi,
ReplyDeletedo u know my pet is a cute white cat. it is blessed with a kitten which is very dark. all my cousions want to send it away , just because it is black. just because they respect me, & as i said "will u get rid of ur child if it is born black" , that little fellow is still at my home.....
do u know i am also a victim to this color discrimination,no boy is thinking about our edu, character etc.they want a beautiful girl beside them as the one at showcase, so that all of their friens feel jeaulous of them.wife became hanger to show of their taste and status now a days.
All this is just because of cosmetics market in india. cosmetic comapanies r imbibing into the people that fairness alone gives confidence, fairness is beauty....but do u know a fact...they select black models for cosmetic ads since expressions can be clear on black faces than fair ones. people without knowing all these buy cosmetics modeled by blackones to become fair....there is lot to say about black and white...any how , nice topic...nice expression by u
Thank you, Swathi; once again you have enlightened me to something I was not aware of....a different kind of prejudice...I am as shocked as you!
ReplyDeleteNow, while I cannot completely identify with this situation, I do understand a little. My daughter, who is eighteen now, looks nothing like me! She has very dark eyes, hair, and skin....many people have mistaken her for a Black American or an American Indian....she looks quite exotic in comparison to me (I am very fair skinned). She takes after her father, who is white, but dark complected....all her physical traits are from his side of the family. She has never said that it bothers her, but I've often wondered why it matters to other people at all why she is dark skinned....I could care less about this; in fact, I wish I were dark like her because I think she is very beautiful. I also think you are beautiful, Swathi, inside and out! :D
Swathi...
ReplyDeleteThis is a good topic, after reading all the comments, I want to say only one thing...this color problem is not only restricted to India..it haunts us even if you leave the country and go to some other country. But the dimention and direction of problem is different. Here it comes like racial discrimination, i mean when u go for job or when u work or when u go to hospital, everything is very polite and you will be treated with flowery language and with all superlatives. These are only upto lip( I dont say all..only very few ..very few..most of the whites are good and nice people), in single word if I want to say some people are white with black heart and some people are black with white hear. Once again you may think white is being given( i mean in literal language white color)importance...as white color gone into the minds of the people from ages deep into thoughts.One way this black and white is a universal phenomenon, but it is treated in different sence. Some whites love blacks very much indeed( for love).
We discuss so much about white and black. In my opinion there is no white, how can peron be white, pure white, no way, we can say wheatish, or light brown or whatever but there is no white...in my life i havent seen any single person who is like white paper( just i made some humour out of our serious discussion).......Good one Swathi..i liked it very much_________________________Balaji
do we ever think of the pack when we buy something...doesn't mean that the things with attractively packed are good and less attractive is bad, what we need is what is in....skin is a just cover for human doesn't matter how it is
ReplyDeleteyou've addressed a common problem swathi , lets just hope the elder ones dont behave the way they do..
ReplyDeletecheers
hmm gud post swathi....i agree with every1 as above...i m dar kwheat n never felt inferior abt my complexion....though my folks r fair...
ReplyDeletei think its for boys too. I have got this "black" comment so often. We are 7 siblings but i am the black one...All of my siblings are white enough..:) So my mom always says me "son: had you been a daughter what could i have done ?" I reply her there is no difference between a black boy and a black girl..but definitely people and society ahve yet to accept.
ReplyDeleteA custom can be eradicated,
ReplyDeletebut not a deep rooted feeling.
Whatever statement we give here will
amount to hypocrisy. Let us take the facts
as they are, and try to adjust with ourselves !!!
Black or White, their life becomes Bright once they realize evryone's color of blood is always Red.
ReplyDeleteI got nickname (KRUMBAN CHETTAI) from my cousins always it make me anger but now I am happy because I don`t need to take Sunbathe Hahahahahha
ReplyDeleteand the other side of beauty concept In India!
Krishna ( KAR VARNNAN ) Do you forget that?
i feel, black is beautiful. (thou i am wite)
ReplyDeleteSwathi, there is no black or white, on the inside we are all red and grey matter. Don't worry about what is said about skin. These things from your past are the things that make you who you are today and the reason that you say and do the things you do. It may be that you experienced that so that in the future you could stop your aunts from saying it and hurting another. Take care.--Lina
ReplyDeleteIt is undoubtedly worng.. but I think things in India are changing.. we are a country with a lot of diversity and baggage... and for acountry like ours it will will take more time to change than US , which merely has 200 years of history... and again its not that they have not faced this problem , its just that they managed to resolve it in fairly less time bcoz of the small population...
ReplyDeleteSwathi,
ReplyDeleteWhat Kishor and Lina says is correct.
I find it hard to apply the knowledge of myself to my judgment on others. The fact that we are never of one kind, that we never love without reservations and never hate with all our being cannot prevent us from seeing others as black or white.
If black represents a question, white is its answer. Every one should Know that Black is the permanent colour, and all other colours ematate from black.
Is it still there:O
ReplyDeleteboy! Have you seeen those adverts in newspapers for a fair bride :))
I cant stop laughing at those:))
Well...black or white...it is all what is inside..
O well it rhymed:)
TANOO--dear i didnt have any intention to post it as a blog. but ydays exprnce, made me do it..it was almost over the edge!!
ReplyDeleteDEEPZZ--its good that u know its effect, too well...and u know when kids grow up with complex(esp given by others) its terrible.
MADHOO--u were treated diffrntly,dear. Not every one is priviliges as u. its NOT the parents mainly...its the relatives that does this....
LISA--its a kind of prejusidec. we all know it exists in our society in difft names!
PRADEEP--i think u know, it very well...
NEERAJA--urs seems to be the most truthful comment, i saw here. what u said, word-by-word is correct. i have seen it happening to others,(didnt happen to me, just cos, i chose my own husband!)
SHANDA--yea, it IS there. we cant close our eyes against facts, rite? prejudices in any form, if i can be an eye-opener to at least one person, then that the best thing for me.
KRISHNA--yes, package matters...not to all, but to the majority...ie why in super markets, ppl go for nice-packaked good, rather than clumsy ones! its a truth.
PREETHAM--yes, its a common problem..
JYOTHI--u know its all the comparison we face, when we r kid..it lasts..u r lucky u grew out, like me...
PIYUSH--what u have said is absolutely correct....
CHANDRA--try to adjust ourselves...ie all we are doing now....has anyone led a revolution against this? never. we will adapt to anything...ie what humankind is...
KISHOR--what u say is ideology...do u think thats waht majority of us think, honestly?
AJAYI---if Krishna existed in our current society, how do u think , it would have been? have u seen any baby admired by calling karvarnaaa, in 21st century??? i
DIWAKAR--ur rite, in ur own way...
LINA--yea sure, i will stop others from passing such ridiculous comments...ie sure...
RAGHUNADAN--India's caste system(4 castes) is asid to be based on the work they do. but it depend mainly on color too.(thats what i understood!)
ARAVIND---do u think ppl, think ur way? pls ask my question to common ppl, like "do prefer a dark or fair bride?" u will get the answer...
TANVI---o..its completely there. no changes at all...i would say...and do u think it can change??
BALAJI--i would like to say something to you. what u told about racism is very correct. i would say its as "cutured-racism". i erfectly understand the way in which u described "invisible-racism" in he minds of ppl. this we will "FEEL" in europe, mostly i think. it is even under the "sweet-talks" that we hear against racism.
ReplyDeleteFRIENDS--i have been hunting for my cousin's proposal for past 8-9 mths. i know too well, how much color matters in marriage market. it had made me lose faith in the genuineness of character of ppl...all i said, is what i saw, experienced, felt....ppl who can identify wiht me, can understand this most....but to others, i can only say that "there are things which are much more imp that skin-color."
ReplyDeleteabsolutely true... when i had my daughter, friends from India would tell me to drink that (saffron in milk) and eat a lot of apples and fruits.. and even a year ago, for my second child, it was the same.. it is hillarious and got pretty annoying as i had a high risk pergnancy, it was more important that my children were safe :) least of which was color... I am glad you pointed that out cos, it is more in our people (indians) than expected..
ReplyDeleteJOANNA---yes, u know cos, u went thru it...i feel this stupid craziness, much more than my tolerance level...skin color more important that baby's health???? how CAN they even think???
ReplyDeletehehe swati i agree to disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteYes Swathi, this colous discrimination is always there especially in the "marriage market" as u rihtly said, and as tanvi said, it's to be laughed bout...well am lucky to hv a fair complexion, yet, the complexion doesnt remain the same throught ur life, its the inner self that matters...though I cant but accept that, even I wud want my guy to b "fair" n "handsome"....though I spk against all this..& about babies...ur absolutely true...the health of the kid is most important ...but somehow I also at times feel Black is beauty..for that matter, even my mom is not that fair..at times this mattters and at times it dont...I dunno swathi..I'm confused
ReplyDeleteJanu
yes Swathi, this time I agree with Balaji, racism is not restricted to India only and not even towards girl-children in India. Its a global problem !
ReplyDeleteOK, I signed up on Yahoo! 360 eventually! :-)
ReplyDeleteLet me summarize something I read long ago, and for which I can't remember the source.
Every society (re)defines their own perception of beauty. The ideas are often based on things relevant to that society; often physical attributes rare within a society is deemed as beautiful.
In India a dark-skin implies someone who works in the fields in the sun. This is looked down upon, and hence people with fair skin is considered good-looking. This has propelled a huge industry selling various cosmetics which promise to make one fair.
In the West, someone who has travelled is considered very knowledgable. The sun-burt red tan, obtained from years of travel is hence considered good looking. This encouranges lots of people to "cultivate" skin cancer by spending countless hours in the tanning bed.
In South East Asian countries a double eyelid is considered pretty - simply because it is rare among people of Mongolid race to have double eye-lids (which is too common to be even noticeable in other races). I have a Malasiyan friend who had a surgery done to have double eye-lids!
So there; every society builds its own notions of beauty. I _dont_ think that racism has anything to do with it. And my guess is that it simply is not a problem particular to India; analyses the models in television advertisement in any other country and you (my guess is) will realise a pattern of desired physical features emerging.
--
Binil
Yes dear!!! I absolutely agree with what you are talking about! (I should have been the first one to comment on this but you know my state here, rt? Wasn’t connected for 2 whole damn days!!!). Believe me, I was shocked when I
ReplyDeleteheard the same dialogue when I went to see both those babies, but at that time, the elder one was too small to understand what they were saying.
Guys/ Gals in our 360 community,
I was so damn moved by reading Swathi’s entry and know that each and every word which she wrote was truth to its extreme core. All the comments and dialogues which she has mentioned in this blog entry is word-by-word accurate! And I stand and claim this because I AM SWATHI’S COUSIN(more of a friend rt now!!!) and been a witness to all these conversations.
Swathi, you are lucky that you had your mom to make you understand that it’s not the skin-colour but the talent and brains which matter!
With me, the ridiculous thing what happened was, even though I was born with a moderate complexion, they used to lament to mom, “Oh, even though she looks exactly like you, she hasn’t inherited your complexion” (Both my parents are fair). And the worst thing was, my mom used to get hurt by this comment and even now, when I take a quick shower and come out, she tells me that I am darker than her because I don’t scrub my skin properly. What logic???
I obviously do agree with the fact that comparisons on colour (or any other physical or intellectual characteristics) shouldn’t be made in front of a kid. First of all, comparing small kids itself is wrong. All throughout my growing up years, I used to be very bad at studies and my relatives (and parents too) used to compare me with my cousins and used to declare me as good-for-nothing.
The end-result was, somewhere in my subconscious, there is a feeling of inferiority even now! Yesterday, I received my first certificate of recognition from my office for one innovation drive. I came back home and gave it to my sis (who is one of those ppl in my life who appreciates all my certificates and trophies which I obsessively accumulated over my years). She jokingly asked, “why are you so damn crazy about certificates? What are you going to do with all of them?” I just smiled at her, but I knew that the only answer I had for this was “I just want to prove myself that I’m not dumb!”
What I’ve gotta say is: NEVER COMPARE KIDS WITH THEIR FRIENDS OR COUSINS IN A RUDE WAY THAT WILL HURT THEM. IT KILLS THEIR SELF-ESTEEM. AND DON’T TEACH THEM RACISM BY DISCRIMINATING THEM BY THEIR COLOR.
PS: I’m a fan of your writing rt now! I don’t have words to say…. I like your blogs so much that I read it even before I check my mail.
KISHOR---pla read aswathi's comment. she is MY COUSIN and the witness of all that happened!!
ReplyDeleteJANU---darling it can laughed at by fair skinned ones. for dark skinnedm, this make them sulk inot their shell, like hell!
ROHAN--yea, its a global probm...but aim was the extent and depth of it in Indian mariage markets (they think thats the final end!)
BINIL---HE IS IS MY EX-CLASSMATE! thanks for joining.u r rite. scales of beauty are different in diffrent countries. But racisn do exist...
BALAJI SAID IS VERY APTLY LIKE....
"....mean when u go for job or when u work or when u go to hospital, everything is very polite and you will be treated with flowery language and with all superlatives. These are only upto lip"...... (he is an NRI (in europe) for 45 yrs! and his view matters, alot !)
ASWATHY--i am very happy u commneted cos u are the sole witness to the incident on my blog!!!! that cousin whom i told in my blog, is a cousin of hers too. I AM PROUD THAT U THINK LIKE ME...at least aswathy is NOT one among all the others, who takes fair skin as aristocratic!
ReplyDeleteand thanks alot for nice words about my blog!! i never expected this from you!!! i always wondered why u didnt support me, when u know every single thing as well as I know! LOL
just completed reading this very blog entry and all the comments.
ReplyDeletethis is an issue which doesn't let loose its foothold despite higher levels of education and even in higher classes of the society, let alone the rural areas. though i do agree that people's mindset has considerably changed than in the bygone years, but still the cause is so deep-rooted that its difficult to bypass it.
small comparisions, here and there, nobody can eradicate; but its the continuous arrow of differentiating which hurts.
we, today's generation, can make a difference in the mindsets of at least the moderate people around us. rest, i believe, will follow suit with time with higher levels of intellectual literacy (and not mere the literal literacy)
Nooru vattam sammathichirikkunnu swathi.
ReplyDeleteKnnanayalum Krishnnanayalum karuthavanayal kariyam poka
kanunna kanninu sawunnariyamundangil karuppinum 7 azhaku
yeah swathi u r very much true in this matter,if a new born baby is born every one will ask for her colour only,i was astonished when my cousin sis had a baby girl ,she first asked for her colour as fair or black as her hubby was black,i think this may be of the fear of dowry or difficulty of finding a bridegroom for her.
ReplyDeletei also heard stories of kids killing their bros or sis because of this colour discrimination,i think all people must be educated that what colour may be they r fist humans and they should know this wil hurt them very much,its not for only girls boys also,i had a friend in college who is very much black so some guys(beverse guys) all named him chintu(chintapandu means tamarind) fist he didnt know that what chintu is so he enjoyed it and a some days he has know about that and he become very much dull and he is very good in studies and for the first time he failed in a subject because of this.so people stop discriminating others with their colour,very nice blog swathi
Swathi, the new pic is tooo cute...:))
ReplyDeleteSOOD---what you have said it the exact way of tackling this...instead of denying truth, we can say, yes, it exists, but we can slowly make it go...if we decide that ourselves..we have won...
ReplyDeleteAJAYI---yea, beauty lies in eyes...sometime, its true, too...but for majority (more than 80%) beauty lies not in the beholder, but the objects color!
PRAVEEN---yea,parents prefer fair baby-girls, cos of this ,marriage market only. and once again, i agree that it hurt boys, my husband being an eg: thanks alot...
JANU--isnt it an appropriate pic??
I am dark complexioned.I used to be reminded often in my childhood.I used to be proud coz it was my father's complexion and he was my hero,Mom is very fair..I am in UAE ,here I got rivals from afro nations.I had lighter moments too coz this ethopians ,sudanese used to come talk to me as if I am one of them ,in arabic.I always enjoyed their shock ,when I tell them ,I am a Indian. I warn the males,but wait to listen the whole giberish from females,coz they are usually beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMe ,Never bothered aboput the colours.But u know swathy...Its velipnu ne azugu,Karuppu ne 7 azugu.....lol!And (sorry Achu)u are a beauty.
ReplyDeleteYes swathi ..very appropriate one!:))
ReplyDeleteswathi... its true. i travel a lot on my bike and my relatives shout at me for that. they say i am getting darker.. it is as if dark is not beautiful. i'm comfortable with my colour. but i have heard people say that i am not fair .especially those achyans and ammammas who are acting as brokers for all the marriages in the state. and i do get mad at their comments. my brother is darker than me and i have heard others comparing us and usually it is me who gets more mad. i know he is hurt by their comments and so i always comes to his rescue, telling that he has got more personality. when people say these type of things in front of small children they are actually ruining that childs life. the child would always feel a bit inferiour because of his dark complexion. i really appreciate ur blog swathi. u have some skill.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this blog, Swathi. It is so common amongst Indians to compare not only skin color, but just about everything in children. It has always upset me so much and I would get very angry at my relatives for making such comments. Then they would say that it is because I am dark that I'm saying so. Just because of that attitude, I love to be outside in the sun and get as daaaark as possible! :) Dark skin is beautiful also...rich, brown, earthy, sun-kissed. Someday the world will recognize it. There are so many who are hurt by that attitude. We will be the ones to change it! Good for you for protecting the spirit of the young ones!
ReplyDeletesooo true,swathi...its so unfortunate that people tend to give more importance to the colour of the skin rather than their over all personality, nature & acheivements.It creates a serious problem psychologically to the children if they are discriminated in this way.nice blog!
ReplyDelete