Is there any one out there who is a single child!!! I was always been a single child. And I always wanted to talk to others about how terrible and alone one feels when they are the single child of their parents. But then others will think..â€isn’t she nuts?? Single child! What a lucky girl! I have always heard this comments from ppl. As everyone, I didn’t choose to be a single child. When I asked my parents, I understood that it was my mom’s decision. When I asked my mom, she told me she wanted to give me all the best things one can provide for a child and chose to have only one. I also heard another story from my relatives that my birth was too much for my mom that she didnt want another one…
Whatever the reason is, I always suffered loneliness in family. I never knew how families worked actually, so whenever there were problems inside family, I felt I was the sole sufferer! Cos I cudnt find anyone to go and open up, who understood how my family worked. Whenever I tried to get ppl to tell my probs they always told “but, my parents are not like this or this is not in my family!â€
My quest for a partner to share sorrows ended there. Gradually I learned not to share family problems with others, as I happened to overhear someone ,whom I considered my soul mate, gossiping abt my family to others. For me everything was my responsibility. As I was the only child, parent’s expectations landed only on me. And believe me, it was damn heavy!!!!
When there were small trifles in family, I was too small to understand that its common. I thot it was my mistake. I wanted to ask others why problems happen in family. But couldn’t trust anyone, cos whoever I went to always told “their family and their parentsâ€. No one could identify my position with themselves. I was confined into the island of 3 ppl, mom, dad and me. My pressure inside built up so much so that I started having constant blackouts, at the first sign of tension.
Even now after growing up, I have trust problems. I don’t know if this loneliness is there in all single children. Does every single child find difficulty in identifying themselves with other kids? Do they think, they have the sole responsibility of the family? Do they think they shud be so perfect that the entire family depended on their virtues? Do they think that they became single child cos of their fault? I just wanted to know, cos I do think sometimes!
Hey ,Swathi
ReplyDeleteI got a sis,still I was alone coz I longed for a brother( My sis is vey loving).Thus I had lots friends.Always considered brother of a friend as my own brother.Most of them reciprocated my feelings ,still considers me as own bro.I used to envy those who had brothers .but Swathy ,when I grew older I found its better in another way to be alone coz I had to interfere to stop many a fight.One of my friends cut his bro's hand with a sword over trifle matter.So everybody whether single or more will have their own probs.Its us who 've decide whether we are to remain single or more even when u r a single child.For eg u r not alone ,we 360s are with u
nice blog swathi.u have expreesed ur feelings in a great way.
ReplyDeletei wuld say i'm lucky to have a bro so i didnt faced ur problems.btwn i had a friend she was single child and the answers for all ur questions from her wuld be yes.just for the family she sacrificed her love and married the guy whom her parents chose.
i think mostly single child feels so.
hey chanakya when i read ur comment i dont know what to say,i'm in same kinda situation i have a bro but always longed for sister.i feel if there is a sister she wuld be more understandable.it shows we all have some kinda expectations in our siblings.
ReplyDeletebtwn i like to mention here one more thing once some months ago when i was talking abt the same thing madhu(the honey) she said she will be my sister and from on tht day i wuld say i adopted her as my sister and same with her.now a days v r like real own brother and sister.thanx for yahoo 360 for giving me a wonderful sister.
I dont know whether i can be counted as a single child as i've 3 younger sisters...the problem was they formed a group. I still remember crying when i heard the fourth child (my youngest sis) was also a girl..how i wished i had a bro...and as the only male child, my parents expectations was on me..and it became so unbearable over time that i developed severe depression and fear of exams..i was always dissected brutaly for even the minutest of my actions...obviously..to keep me in the right direction..so its not just you..its there in any typical indian family...another thing is since i grew up in a family full of girls...i really dont know how to make friends with guys and feels uncomfortable when with them..we all have our problems irrespective of whether u r a single child or with many bros and sis's....
ReplyDeletechanakyas-->i have sein terrible "sibling rivalry" in families. so i dont have the impression that siblings do make life alot easy. my intentionwas just NOT to let others think that single child is the king/queen of the family.
ReplyDeletepradeep--->i am happy that u know the sitaution, as ur frind was a single child.
its just me--> i agree with u compleely cos even i had nervous breakdowns during exams cos of the constant thot that my family's entire dignity depends upon me!
nowadays ppl tend to have singl child more.i tell my cousins to have at least 2 children , telling the probs i faced. but she is looking only at the love and wealth i got, as a single child. my parents repent now alot...but it was an irereversible mistake they did!!!
hay swathi,
ReplyDeleteNice Blog, i have two younger sisters, but still i feel i am alone since i miss them a lot as they got married and settled in US, i always felt alone in house as i can't share every thing with them, and always i use to feel that if i had 1 brother and one sister it would have been much better.but i am soo lucky that atleast i have sister i know how horriable i felt in the starting days when both of them left to US.
Hey,Swathy
ReplyDeletePlz forgive me for using ur page,but I got something tell Pradeep.hey,I think madhu(Honey) will make a good brother than sis!U can make her Bros ur sis's.Thx Swathi
i got two bros...but they never let me feel that i m the only girl at home...in fact all my cousins also boys...they gave me so much of love that i never felt i was missing something...adding to that my friends divya and prakash have been with me since childhood..but i can understand how lonely it would be if u r the only one kid
ReplyDeleteyes pradeep anna is my god gifted bro to me...we both are very close now...thanks to yahooooooo
ReplyDeleteYes, I've known of single children having the problems and 'fears' you mentioned... Nothing abnormal about you feeling the way you did then.
ReplyDeleteHei Swathi.
ReplyDeleteI see that you are living in Ireland nowadays. I lived there as well for 23-years.
Interesting blog that you wrote on being an only child - have heard same kind of things of others in similar situations. Take care and do keep well, safe and sound. =)
There are lots of things i'm coming to know recently. I never knew that, being an only child has these many problems. Living in a place where you don't have anyone to talk is really tough. It makes one mind to ponder over so many sad things. Take care.
ReplyDelete