A letter to my younger self!

  
Dear swathi at 18,

 Now that you have joined engineering college (!), it doesn’t mean that your life is so safe and secure and that u can do anything. Ok, yea, its less pressurizing than those, SSLC days and engg entrance course days. But that doesn’t give u the carelessness to be laid back...Do you remember telling your dad that once you get thru entrance, you are going to stop studying. Baby, that’s not going to work here, at all. There are no teachers here to spoon feed you. Those teachers you have here are not going to complete ,even the syllabus. You have the syllabus in hand and a list of related books in other. So you have to get your ass moving up, buddy.



I saw the result of your first series test. What’s going thru your head, you dumb-ass? If you didn’t know what Comp science was, then why did you take it? I know you failed in comp science paper, in that series. Do you know that? A RED line is going to be in the mark list. Do you get it? Now, don’t lean on your 10^th marks and +2 marks for support. Getting 93% is no big deal, when there are a lot of hands to feed you, stuff. Now that itself proves that you can’t even study on your own... What did you think? Now crying and going back home, telling that you want to quit engg is not what you want. Do you? You know...you are the silliest dumb-ass, I have ever seen... First you don’t know what you r doing and second you want to quit at the first taste of failure!!!!



Ok.. Now I am going to stop calling you names. I know you r not that bad. Ur away from home for the first time in your life, and you know that things back at home, is not in much pretty state. I know, those are taking up your mind. Also I know the situation in "Soumya Hostel" is also worse. And above all, God!!! You are only eighteen. U r lonely, scared, insecure....I know the list never ends.... But dearie, this is not going to take u any further. If you want to graduate with good grades and get a job at the earliest, you have to work hard....hard means H-A-R-D. Ok?  Do you want to end up getting married at 21??? Think. Think about that....



Ok, now listen to me... You are not in total mess, yet...first learn, how to learn!!! Got it? Get into your head that you have to support yourself! And please, get along with all those weirdos in your class... In fact you are not in any way better than them, esp. those girls... Ok? You just can’t be on your own and do all those "strange" assignments...you have to be social...ok? Its 4.5 yrs long dearie...and you have to spend 16 Hrs per day with those. Its better you get adjusted rather than wishing for a transfer to Trivandrum Engg college (by the way, things wont get better that way, either!!)



Ok, I know I have slapped you hard now. But if not for me, no one else is going to tell you all this. You have to come into terms with that. Okay? So, be more social, concentrate on studies, stop thinking about home, and be serious about a job in future...



Ok...by the way, keep those romantic interests away... Trust me, its not going to work....and..it is going to make a lot of things , a lot worse. But cheer up, you will learn alot, after all!!!



Take care..

Swathi at 29