when shock numbs the pain...

How frequent do we hear the news of death of our closed ones or once closed ones? And how do we usually take it? I know each of us will be first shocked. The next phase is always denial. Our soul screams: “No..it cant be..it wont happen to him/her. There is some mistake. It can’t be true.” When that phase is over, our mind tries hard, very hard to accept truth. It’s the most difficult phase. It may take days or weeks or months. Or sometimes, it may never happen at all. And the next phase is pure sorrow. You will literally “feel” the loss. The agony… the excoriating pain. And I am going thru that right now.



On my last blog about child labour, I mentioned about a girl, who was nearly my age, when she took the responsibilities of her family, at 8 yrs of age. She was my neighbour. She was my play mate, for 15 long years[though she had little time to play!!!]. In my wild dreams never did I imagine a day like today. Why did I write about her 2 days back? Why did she come into my thoughts after 14 yrs? Last time when I saw her (I was visiting my cousin, then) she accompanied me to bus stop. She was married happily(??) and had 2 kids. All the way she talked chirpily about her boy and girl. That was 1 yr back. I came and told mom that I saw her, after 13 yrs. I was happy seeing her. She was healthy (not like old times, when she looked like a malnutritioned kid!). Mom asked about her kids. Amma told :”its good that finally she is happy, now.”



Today when amma called, I didn’t expect her words to be like this. “Swathi, u know “m*****i”. She died 2 days back. She was killed, by her husband. Its in the newspaper. In Malayala Manorama, 2^nd page. Police didn’t get her husband. He is hiding. One of her kids is in a convent.”



I couldn’t take all this in such short or no notice. I felt a scream trapped in my heart. What???? I asked amma to tell everything clearly and slowly (so that I could take only one shock at a time). And she repeated everything, again.



My mind froze…its still in freezing state. I just checked the on-line Malayala Manorama. When I clicked 2^nd page, I hoped against hope for the news to be NOT there. No…IT IS THERE. 



There it was- my old playmate’s murder news mocking at me and gnawing my soul … she is dead…no no…murdered. So much to end the life of a child who worked since 8, for her siblings’ hunger. And now, what about her kids? The news didn’t say anything about her kids. Can we say, another hungry orphan is born?



I didn’t mean to blog this…but is there any way to vent my pain on my child hood friend’s murder???



note:how does this look, when read against the recent domestic violence act?