My Dirty Dancing!!!

Yesterday I read Shail’s blog on her childhood experiences with classical dance and veena… she said, she even attended the ‘deeparadhana’, (and that too, for one year!) just to get the chance to continue with her dance lessons! For me that was a realization that there are people like that, too…

 

Unfortunately for me (and fortunately for art-lovers), I didn’t have that exclusive love for studying such art forms …  yea, I didn’t have that love, but I did have the chance to try my luck on it!!

 

I don’t know how my parents got this idea of putting me in Regatta Dance School when I was in 5^th standard. I clearly remember the Vijayadasami day, when I started my dance lessons for ‘Bharatnadyam’. When I was asked to place ‘dakshina’ for the teacher on her feet, I didn’t touch her feet. In fact, later I came to know that I was the only student who didn’t ‘touch’ our teacher’s feet. I thought (when I was 10) that it was an unhygienic ritual! LOL!

 

Things were never smooth afterwards… my cousin sister whose body was more flexible than me, got along well. Me, who was a little bit overweight at that time, began to look forward every dance class with terror! It was literally terror for me. I panted like an over-worked donkey, after every dance class. My body never followed all those graceful motions that the teacher showed. It was a heart-as-well-as-back breaking experience for a 10 yr old. I cursed my parents, every time my teacher criticized my body.  Actually the main teacher, Girija Mohan (she is the guru of  most Kalathilakams from Trivandrum!!!) was very soft with me. She never used harsh words with me. But as she was very busy, some senior students took dance classes for us kids. They were Manikkutty chechi (filmstar Sreelekshmi) and Mini chechi. Mini chechi was the one who played the main part in pushing my self-confidence to ground level.

 

After every class when I went home, I spent half and hour in front of the mirror, cursing my over-weight figure. I was made fun of by Mini chechi always, for the way I looked. In fact when my cousin who had an in-born taste in dance, along with a slim body, excelled, I was the one who lagged. In fact my progress was little.

 

Mini chechi used to tell me always that I looked like the vegetable ‘padavalanga’. (snake gourd). In fact she made that my nickname. There were some 10-12 students in one class and every single evening, I have to hear this comparison of my body with  ‘padavalanga’ from Mini chechi.  Every one laughed at me, including the boys who were in our class. [At 10, I didn’t know about dieting!!!] My cousin used to come home and tell mom “Babyamma, Mini teacher calls chechi, padavalanga”. Even then, my parents didn’t understand the inferiority complex, I felt.

 

Any way after 2 yrs of continuous humiliation with a result of a very high inferiority complex over my appearance, at 12, somehow I convinced my parents that I needed more time to study that attend dance classes! But then I had become very much overweight. Once my dad’s friend even asked me, what I was doing, when I was just 12. People who saw me never believed that I was just 12, and soon I stopped attending weddings cos I really got sick of those ‘raised eyebrows’ and ‘gaping mouths’ when they heard my age.

 

Astonishingly without any dieting, I lost all my weight when I was 16-17, and never gained weight, till now. But that horrible experience, always keep me on my toes about my weight now. and my once svelte cousin is not anymore like that now!

 

And I sincerely have an advice to the parents of all overweight kids…please, please, notice the shame on their face, when others comment about their weight, and call them names. They may not admit that to you, but they may be dying in inferiority complex inside…

 

I don’t have any photos that were taken on my over-weight phase (thank God!)

The above photo was taken while I was 1.5 yrs old. Notice the ink cap held tightly on my right hand??? The photographer gave me that to hold, to keep me still!!

  

Footnote: only recently I told my hubby that I learned (?) bharathanadyam for 2 yrs and he wanted me to show what I learned. At that instant, I hated myself for telling him, that.

 

                                  This is my entry for Marty’s Photo Challenge/Festival.  

(yea, i know, i am late...but, better late, than never!)