This thing and that thing...

Life can be pretty boring, eventful or as it happens to be in my case nowadays- very close to disastrous. I bungee-jump into every new venture with the hope of it becoming exciting, but some how mysteriously ends up with terrible results. I don’t remember exactly when this kind of things started happening, but I can guarantee it used to be very normal before my 30^th birthday.

The earliest I can remember started with the new, much hyped shopping centre in our town centre. With over 50 shops (most of them, branded designer ones) in four levels, it was supposed to be the heaven for women shoppers in Midlands. Or so I thought. The first week, I was awe-stricken when I couldn’t move through the shopping centre without pushing (and being pushed by) others. The second week came and things were not so good. I had to wait at each traffic-light for 25 minutes, before I could move an inch to the next one. And this happened for four consecutive lights, when I found myself nearing snapping point. But things had just started to begin. After spending more than one hr waiting at four junctions (25 mts at each), I reached the parking lot that boasted to have 1000 slots. And what do I see? All the 1000 slots are occupied. Not even that, even the spaces reserved for TESCO delivery vans, which are in prohibited area are full with private cars. I can’t even see the footpath because of the cars parked in it whose two wheels are on it and the other two on the road. I was shocked and started sweating profusely. I didn’t know what to do. It is not like in India. You can’t park anywhere you like. I am already driving alone with my provisional license, and if I violate one more rule, my full Irish license will be just a distant dream!

I can’t do anything but go round and round the parking lot, till I get a space. I went to the extreme end of the lot and started hunting for space, only to realise that I am not rude or fast enough to compete with other space-hunters like me. One second I saw the space and the next second I didn’t. After spending another 15 minutes burning another litre of petrol to find a parking space, I thought of the possibility of finding a slot, 2 kms away. I went there parked and then walked 2 kms through the bone-chilling wind. The usual 10-minute drive to town has now turned into a gruelling one-hour pain-staking journey. Thanks to the new shopping centre! They say it is bringing a lot of business to Athlone, but did anyone think about the normal people who are already living in Athlone?
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According to me, I was/am leading a life over-working, under-nourished and under-privileged. I remembered waking up, dressing, working and nothing else. Gone were the days of reading books. Some days I didn’t even wash my face or brush my hair. I didn’t give it a thought till I saw something different in my friend’s hair. The previous day when I last saw her, her hair was blonde. The next morning, she was a brunette! My first thought was I might be going bonkers with over-working. But then, I went to her, touched her hair and made myself sure that I was not dreaming. No, I was not nuts. She did colour her hair burgundy, had a nice cut and was looking fabulous! I touched my greasy hair and tried to remember the last time, it saw the comb.

Only after confirming the appointment for my hair, the next day did I touch my hair again.
Mary Shine usually has very busy days and usually I may have to wait minimum 1 hour to get my haircut. May be due to the cold grey morning, this Saturday she had only me as the client. I was happy because she took longer time with my hair. For me, that meant perfection, again, so I thought. I am usually cool with haircuts. After all, it is hair and it always grows back. But this time, due to my lucky stars, I am always for a surprise.
After 20 minutes, what do I see? A very unattractive, extremely repelling and freaky version of Demi Moore, in the film ‘Ghost’!. No offence, I have always admired her hair-cut in it. Because of her sharp features, it suited her a lot . But that was Demi and this was me. There are only just a handful of women who can carry a very short haircut with grace. Demi Moore, Princess Diana and Priyanka Gandhi. There may be more, but these are all I know. And everyone had the most elegant facial features – sharp nose, long elegant neck and prominent cheek bones, that make them look so feminine even with the boyish cut. And what do I see in the mirror now!

A blunt piggy nose, stubby neck and no cheeks trying to give company to a “Demi Moor-ish haircut”. And one more thing. A double-chin-in-progress is also smiling back at me.

“How is it?”, Mary Shine seems happy with her work.

“Great” – calm down! Remember? Hair always grows back. Its just hair. She didn’t operate your face or anything! On a positive note, now the hair will look the same whether I run a brush through it or not.

My husband didn’t tell that he was shocked. He took one loooong and silent look at me and thought for a while before telling,
“hmm… the only difference is that now you are handsome, instead of beautiful”.
Huh…What does that mean?
“When we go to India with this look, your parents will be happy that finally they have a son. And now, I am happy that I have a male-friend instead of a wife. Oh, it is so good to live with a man now, for a change!”

So what… I don’t look feminine any more. My husband thinks he is now living with a man. Somehow or other he always ends up addressing me as “he”- which he says is completely unintentional! And my sanity-restoring-mantra is “Its just hair. Hair always grows back”!