Diary of a perturbed woman!

Diary of a perturbed woman, living alone in Ireland [husband is in India]!

Day1 : The morning when I opened the tap, it was like a deja vu of my age-old experiences with The Kerala Water Works! Not a drop of water. That was Kerala. This is Ireland .We dont panic in Kerala, we are so used to it. No water? Fine, there is a well at home or may be in any of the neighboring houses. But wells in Ireland??? No way!

I ran to our neighbors. No one has a drop of water. Fine, so it’s not due to our tank problems. Ran to ‘Super valu’ and bought two 10 litre cans of water.

NOTE: In Ireland, we don’t have to pay for tap water. It is a free commodity, as long as it is available. So, for the first time in Ireland I had to spent money for water! Great!

Water came late in the evening. Now, I always have an emergency water storage kept.

Day2: Gardai (Irish police) issued a new rule for prosecuting provisional license holders driving without a full license holder. It was to be implemented overnight. (In Ireland public transport is almost zero. If you don’t have a car, you are absolutely stuck. Buses are very rare, and trains rarer! ) And I am a provisional license holder. What luck! When my husband will be back, I will be in Gardai Station waiting for bail!

NOTE: On extreme public protest they took back the rule after one day!

Day3: In office, things were getting entirely out of control. I was being pulled by three different managers as I was covering for my colleagues who were on holidays. After getting so pissed off being ‘the doormat’ that I made this photo to make my point. While I was working on it, Mr. E happened to see and he dared me to make that picture my desktop or to take a print out of it and stick it on my cubicle front. I almost did! Well, I didn’t.

Day 4: Once I started living alone, I stopped cooking at home. Suddenly I found that I could live with just 2 slices of brown bread a day! And I don’t have to wash the plates. Wonderful! Result: dropped 2 kilos.

Day 5: My migraine got worse, and I had to take an overdose of Solpadeine. And then I found that more than 6 Solpadine a day can make you high! WOW! I was floating. I still don’t know how I didn’t crash my car into anything that evening.

Day6: Midlands’ biggest shopping centre opened. I am planning to spend my whole weekend there. One advantage of being alone here, you are not nagged by your husband to finish shopping within 15 minutes.

Day7: Tried to put my little finger into the big round plug point behind the coffee machine. Ms A yelled at me just like she yells at her own 2 yr old toddler. She was fuming at me for my stupidity! Still don’t know why I did that.

Day 8: Lying awake at 3 am, listening to radio. When did I last have lunch?. Is it just me or is the whole world going nuts?

Day 9: Husband phones and asks “Did Gardai catch you?”. Me: “not yet”. He: “When they catch you, talk to them in Malayalam”. He is so sure that I am going to get caught!

Day 10: Me phones and tell husband:

“My swimming classes will start on this Monday. If you find me missing when you return, first search Gardai Station, then swimming pool and then in the new shopping centre. If I am not found dead in any of those, I will be alive under my office desk.”

Day 11: the story continues…..