I am not at all in a very good situation for past 1 week. Though I have seen things go worse than my current situation, this time, its REALLY very bad…
Do u know what all are happening to me, now?
1)I gave wrong account number of mine(1 digit was wrong), to my overseas bank for Funds Transfer, (for 50k INR) and realized it ONLY after 3 days. Now I am running behind the red tape issues, to get it roll back. I gave a wrong account number (which was a slip of my eye, I would say), which cost me 50,000 rs deposited into a strangers account!!!!
Moral: Recheck ur bank account numbers again and again and if possible, even with others when u give it for Funds Transfer(esp. for huge amounts)
2)My visa application is “Pending†for 3 months (can you believe that???) My application number is ****673. The funny thing is that they have taken decision on application numbers ****670, ****671, ****672, ****674, ****675, ****676 !!!!! They say they cant explain, why application number is ****673 is still “Pending†(they are NOT rejecting it NOR accepting it ).
Moral: Sometimes, ONLY ur application gets lost or sometimes, ONLY u have to go through the inevitable. And moreover there wont be any logical reason for that!!!
3)If I don’t get back to Ireland before this February end, I would lose my job, whose last round interview is scheduled on Feb last week. After that, they are closing recruitment for this year (2006-2007), and my whole hard work and prayers to get that job will be doomed forever.
Moral: Sometimes, you would be really forced to wonder aloud “WHY ONLY ME?†And believe me, I haven’t found an answer yet. My head seems to explode, my brain doesn’t work logically, and sometimes I tend to forget what I was thinking about. I think these are the first signs of being insane???
4)And lastly, I was hunting proposals for my cousin, by registering for her in different matrimonial sites (each site, it costs 1000/-). I have been doing it for past 10 months. Till now I have done an average of 320 proposals on each site, and till now, NOT a single one got right. The problems differed from good looks to education to income to whatever…. Me and my husband met thru rediff match maker (my first proposal and that too using free registration), which made me do a step further more for my cousin.
Moral: Not everybody compromises for everything. If you need a husband like Ram, being a woman like Sita is NOT enough! Ram also has to think that he needs someone like Sita 
(cos 21st century Ram never thinks like that!)
So cos of (1), (2), and (3) I am hanging on to the narrowest thread of faith…but I think I see the thread has started cracking and it will break sooner or later…
OK, now that will explain, why I am so weird (to my parents and husband) and not responding (to my friends) and shutting inside doors (24 hrs a day). I haven’t gone out of my house for past 4-5 weeks…
Swathi,I can very well understand the crisis situation ur facing ...The questiong WHY ONLY ME?? is often unanswered and ur just left with some hope..never loose hope o any circumstance...Lets all pray that U get ur visa soon, fly to Ireland b4 feb ends and settle down on a proposal for ur cousin...I knw swathi, its really really tough.We've also been looking in for my cousin here..hey in btw, I heard that shaadi.com is kina gud..try that if possible..I'm not too sure anyways and swathi,dont loose hope and cheer up...Everything will CHANGE ! Keep that in mind..:)Tk care..
ReplyDeleteLove, Janu
Hey Swathi, I fully understand your feeling. Do not worry, There is always Light at the end of the tunnel.I know just saying is easier than feeling ourself. But sitting at home and shutting door for 24hrs won't change the situation.Instead you may be thinking the issues again and again and again which will make you even more frustrating.Keep engaged yourself in some activity( I feel this forum may be of great help!! if you still prefer to be indoors) . Try your best,Have confidence in you and be Patient.All the best!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Swathi!!!!
ReplyDeleteMan u have faced so much problems and are still facing so much problems..... U know i lost 25000 Rs.. when i was at a project in Panipat India, last year! .... SOmeone took it out of my bag.... I was in shock for a day... then forgot about it.... At that time i had just 20K in my bank account... so i lost more than i had earned.....I can relate to how u must be feeling about your money issues.......
Right now i will complete 5 months on my project here in Kuwait in 4 days.... But the president of our company has decided to start demobilisation from next month... i.e send people home.... I know i will be sent home soon.... Just dont know when... It's such a suspense... I am soooooooo tensed.... U know I am 25, a mechanical engineer, will be 26 this month end..... U know.... since graduation 4 years ago... i have worked on two years total and have been jobless two, I always seem to lose my job for no fault of mine... This is my 6th job!, will have to start looking for a new on soonI can relate to ur Visa issue too....
Everyone in life has problems.... They seem big to you.... coz u r the one facing it right! But ultimately you are the one who has to face it and have to find a solution.
U r lucky to have a loving husband who loves u and will support u in all ur problems...
Think about it!!!! if ur problem has a solution Y worry about it... then again....if ur problem doesnt have a solution why worry about it. :-)
JANU----thanks alot for the prayers...i dint plan to wrie all this..but we cant know, how far desperation can take one, when it comes to money, job and relations!
ReplyDeleteMADDY---there r so much ppl(& relatives) around me, who is so inquisitive and irritative as to WHY, i am NOT joining my husband! u shud have heard their version of my story! Visa issues is osmething like "such a minor thing!!!" to them!!
hey swathi cheer up,i can understand ur situation and how u r feeling,what ever happens is for our own good only,every one faces that situation some or the other time,but after that it will be happy,do what u can do and leave the rest to god,thinking about ur situation and staying in the house not doing any thing will make u sick thats for sure i had seen that with my mom.i will pray for ur visa,any way u take care and all the best.
ReplyDeleteROSHAN---i think ur situation is more desperate than mine. i havent faced layoff (demobilisation), till now. but one of my relatives faced (he has wife and a kid) and still suffering the repairments of it. but its a norm in the private firms (be it mech enggr, or s/w enggr) we are all threatened by "layoff" every second.
ReplyDeleteand abt my visa issue, yaar, my relatives and neighbors whenver they see me outside, ask me as though, i am staying India after quarelling from my husband in Ireland. (can u believe that!). ie why i shrunk away from ppl. they think(or wish) that i dont want to go back to Ireland cos, of some probs with my husband!
And abt my husband, we r the travellers of same boat. my probems are his and his are mine. he is more upset than me, cos he knows I am upset. he tries to find sloace from me and i try to relieve my frustration on him...result is utter chaos! we both of us know that we r both frustrated cos of same problems, and dont know what to blame or whom to blame or not even what to do????
PRAVEEN---prayers are all what i am clinging to. cos whatever a human being can do, on all these isues, I have done my part well...now theresnt anything left for me as a human to do, to solve it. thanks alot for ur prayers...i wouldnt have written all this.. but i thot it was better to open up, before things take a toll on me!
ReplyDeleteSwathi its gud that you opened up now...and dont worry ..things will settle down and ya I knw how relatives wud think why ur nt joining ur hubby..they are the ones who always peep into others life..forget them...so dear..dont stay at home always,jus get out for a while,go to a temple,meet local friends...dont worry
ReplyDeleteRoshan, I really feel bad for u as well and I can understand ur problem, well though I dunno much bout u..lets hope things will shape up in a better way frm this year for u..tk care..dont worry..If one door closes, god will open another..
Sory swathi I'm commenting on what roshan said in ur blog
Janu
see my blog WHY ME once...it may help u
ReplyDeleteu know I lost 62k INR by giving credit to my collegue...and it was only me who have such a huge amount...am I looking like a fool?? may be. but I took it as a lesson, life is full of lessons...cheer up swathy
ReplyDeletehey swathi...i nkow things are going tough for u...i'l pray for u darling...im sure all ur troubles will go...i hope ur money gets back...im sure it will!!
ReplyDeleteand ur cousin...maybe its taking time bcuz she's gonna get the most wonderful husband...and abt ur visa...mmmmmmmm...i agree to many problems....but u'll get thru...dont worry!!!!
hmm sawthi i was wondering y i culdnt see ur blogs or comments now i come to the reason.
ReplyDeleteevery trouble and hurdle we face is only to make ourselves stronger.
so dont worry for everthing there is a good solution waiting.it may take time but we will get what we deserve without any compromise.so cheer up and hope for the best :)
Oh Swathi, I can totally relate to the feelings you are having built up by all these stresses, but everybody's right, keeping yourself locked up and away from people is not the answer (though I'll admit I'm not too crazy about being around people much either).
ReplyDeleteYou know, when all my problems started I kept myself locked up too, wasn't eating or doing much of anything and it really took it's toll on me... I lost so much weight and became so pale. I saw a picture of me that was taken during my most turbulent time and I looked like a skeleton/ghost or something like that, no lie... Definitely made me want to change some things...
It's a hard struggle when you have so much to deal with and feel like you're all alone. Having your friends around at that time makes a world of difference... everyone needs some type of support from time to time, whether it's just an ear to listen or to give some advice, or having that someone who'll be there to give you that little extra boost when you need it.
I'll definitely be thinking of you and pray that all works out for you.
Regarding the comment you left me, I thank you very much. It means a lot to me. I've often been told I'm a strong woman, but sometimes it's hard to see with one's own eyes, you know? As far as our "legal system" goes... believe me, my views have changed drastically and really has opened my eyes to A LOT of the things that one normally wouldn't see unless they were in the system themself. :/
all i can say is gud luk...to u:)
ReplyDeleteswati. a problem becomes a problem when we call it a problem. take it easy and smile.
ReplyDelete1. yes u need to be carefull. u r eyes are definitely troubling you. u can take one of mine.
2. tell them they are being the loosers.
3. there's always a vacancy for those who are willing to work and prove.
4. ---
of course its easier and cheaper to tell and comfort in words and comments like i am doing now, but i understand ur situation. but again i would say laugh at the trouble it will feel guilty and will go away.
God Bless You, Sawthi !!
ReplyDeleteooops..Sorry Swathi,messed up your name...
ReplyDeleteBade bade desho me choti choti batein......hoti rahti hain...
ReplyDeleteyep sorry .......hope every thing well in future
ReplyDeletei think now u r CARE-FULL rather CARE-LESS
exp makes lives porfect.
all the best
ReplyDeleteHey, I dont know what to say. I was wondering why you dint update your page or come online. Dont worry. Sit and pray and if you want to relax, meditate a bit. Thats the logical thing which I can say rt now.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you,
PS: That thing about the 21st century Rams are is so damn true! (I think the Rams these days are born a bit foolish that they go around the world for unnecessary things and never understand their Sita sitting nearby!) *sigh*
dont worry...therz no coin with one side. I hope this forward I got today fits ur situation perfectly.
ReplyDeleteArthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got
due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From
world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why
does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 crore children start
playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional
tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach
Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I
never asked GOD "Why me?". And today in pain I should not be asking GOD
"Why me?"
Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u
Going.....
vishamikkathe, ellam seriytakum. Jeevitham vishamam mathramalla. Praarthikkuka, enthu vishamam vannalum manadharyam kaividathirikkuka. :)
Try to the end...
ReplyDeleteMost of my thinks clicked only at the end...
I hope it will be for you too...
Boldness is the key factor...
Ready to face all in the life...
Try your level best, leave the rest to God's sake...
wishing you all the best...
Hey sweetoo, plssss try to relax and dont take too much stress, god knows y he does things this way, plssss take care and be patient u will see that all bad is for good, i know wht i'm saying yaar
ReplyDeleteWith LOVE
~tanu~
Swathi, the best thing about this blog is that you had no light when you started out and all these individuals who have commented on your blog are trying to put some light in the tunnel. I hope we all are successful in making you see the hope in these situations. Life has umpteen struggles but fortunately there is always hope and faith if you choose to seek it. A wise friend of mine said to me once when I was down that flowers grow out of dirt. There's hope sweetie just hang on! :) *hugz*
ReplyDeleteJANU---thanks alot...for the kind words! and even i think Roshan is in a more tight situation than me.
ReplyDeleteNEERAJA---thanks alot for showing me the bright side. i have left my comments in that blog...(which was indeed a very apt blog, for me!)
KRISHNA---so u too...? no u dont sound like a fool. my husband has given laks, to his collegues which was never returned! u know "making a mistake is NOT a mistake, but NOT learning from it is a mistake"
DEEPZZ---thank u, thanks alot..i hope things will settle..theres no problem, w/o a solution..
PRADEEP--yea, i was(am) down...i wouldnt even open windows..my mind was blank with fear...but still i tried to read and comment on some blogs, whom i thot abt more than myself.(like Lisa)
LISA---Today i came out of my room, walked for 1km in the evening, probably first time after November 7th. wish i could keep it, going...i dont have friends where i stay,cos i never stayed here (was always in hostels).
JYOTHI--thanks alot, dear.
KISHORE--good that u chose a picture! i am not laghing at the trbles. i am asking it "show me, how far can u go? i am waiting .."
CHANDRA--thanks alot..God is my only solace left...
TANVI---yea, u r rite...
SRINIVASAN---I am learning from every single mistake of mine...as for a start, i have started using glasses..LOL
RAGHUNATHAN--thanks alot..
ASWATHY---yea, i have bad habit of going ino hiding, when problems take too much on me...prayers, are what i lean on.. abt Ram & Sita, i whud say in this century, they r their ghosts!
ReplyDeleteANOOP--ur story is the same as that of NEERAJA's blog...and then i realised my blessings and why didnt i ask "WHY ME?" then...
"3 mths njan pidichu ninnu...ippol kaiyyil vanna joliyum kai vittu pokum ennnu thonniyappol, sahikkan pattiyillla"...
thanks alot...
MARUFF---oh! i never expected u to say anything! yea...even for me things clicked ONLY at end..but by then i wuld have gone thru all sort of pain and anguish. i hope the end will be fruitful..thanks alot for ur kind words!
TANOO--i will be...i am trying to be...i know final outcome will be good...and always good! cos nothing was never bad in my life!
NAINA---*hugs* thank you...flowers (esp sacred flower, lotus) grows only in dirty mud. oh!! ur words are so relieving for me! thank you, so much...i will always remember that line!
I'm sorry, Swathi....I have missed seeing you post as much....I stay in the house all the time too but for different reasons than yours...I hope things get better for you....:)
ReplyDeleteI think u urself is lost....
ReplyDeletesorry, i wrote to u without reading this blog,now i under stand ur problem.take heart things will be ok, after all so many people are praying for u.hope to see u back soon as fresh and cheerful as u r.
ReplyDelete