I have a mother who worries the hell out of her and others if ever I catch even a silly ordinary cold. And I am so sure that almost all mothers are like that. But there were some other kind I came into contact with. One being my ex-room mate’s mom. I will call her achu. She was never excited about her mom, whenever we discussed about our mommies at hostel. And I thot that achu was being fussy. I never believed her allegations about her mommy not loving her. I always told her it was all her imaginations. I scolded her a lot for telling things about her mommy. (she was much younger to me!). I never knew I was in for a big surprise.
Achu was diagnosed with a pus filled growth on her anus. Yea, that was sooo bad that she couldn’t even sit or lie on her back, not to mention her basic body functions! . Mind you, it was her dad, who took her to hospital. Soon an operation was arranged for her. But strangely, her mom didn’t come. She (her mom) called me up and requested to accompany achu to her hospital. I was shocked. Her own mom, and she asked me , her daughter’s room mate to be with her on her daughter’s surgery. (and that too thru another girl!!! she didnt talk to me directly!)
I agreed. I took leave and took achu to the hospital. I took a room, admitted achu and even bought dinner for her. That night achu cried like anything. It was her first operation and she was scared like hell. She was only eighteen then. Only I was there to calm her … me who never experienced an operation myself. And one question bothered me a lot… why her mom didn’t want to be with her on the night before her surgery. But I didn’t ask achu about that. (later i came to know that she didnt want to "waste" a leave of her for her daughters operation. she told me the reason herself!! and she thot it was okay for her room mate to take leave for her daughter!!!!!!)
Next morning, the nurse came and asked me to clean achu, which I did. Yea, I don’t have any problem in doing that kind of very personal things for my friends. She changed into surgery clothes. And just before she was pushed into operation theatre, her dad came. He thanked me a lot and hugged his daughter, before she was wheeled into the room.
Still her mom didn’t come.
Achu recovered after operation. Her mom came later, I knew, after the surgery. Achu joined us in my hostel room, after 2 weeks. But we never discussed that night before her surgery, again. I never asked about her mom, too.
I know one thing, for certain. That woman is her own mother. And from that day onwards I started trusting Achu, when she criticised her mom. I came into terms with the fact that all mothers are not like my own mom.
There are many Achoos out there...but the world, buries its head like an ostrich and believes only in rosy pictures of motherhood!! Strange that people don't open their eyes to some realities and look at the world as it is for others! I am glad you believe now.
ReplyDeleteSad.. But did any one think why that mom behaved So..
ReplyDeleteOne small incident.. When my mom was ill and hospitalised. My sis did not even come to see her once. Many were unhappy. Me and mom were not so.. She came and met her after 21 days with some prashad in her hands.
Some Swamiji has told her that to her astrological facts.. if she and mom meet each other.. there is a harm to moms life.
May be looking ODD of FuNNY... but the hidden truth is that.. SHE LOVED HER.. also remember. It is not easy for her to keep away for 21 days.. It was hard.
Well, Achu.. Mom is always a mom .. she is the reason for u being in this earth.. thank her for that.. u can be happy by that.
~ King
No mother is bad to her children, Swathi! If you may recall one Adhi Shankara's Stotra..it is only the child behaving bad, beyond reason, without gratitude and sincerity..for a mother, her child is her whole world whereas for the child, mother is a companion for a shortwhile!
ReplyDeleteI am shocked... yeah, ther ecan be moms like taht... it takes all kind of ppl to make a world. god taht she had u to take care....but, it is beyond comprehension how she can behave to her own daughter like that...
ReplyDeleteI coming to terms with this new reality , i have heard of a few cases, i have no reason not to believe them . But , it continue to puzzle me, Why wud a mom behave so ?WHy wud a mom not even have the compassion or the feeling a friend has or even a stranger feels ? will we ever know why ?
ReplyDeleteI see no motive in a mom behaving cruely or indifferently to her own, wonder if it has a pschological reasoning to it? But for sure, there can be no greater a hurt than the feeling that one isnt loved or wanted by his/her own mother .
There may be some reason or not. I do not know. I pity that poor girl.
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDelete*speechless*....
It does happen, huh?
Who knows what was the reason... I amsure Archu.. never discussd when and where it started... Well i have never seen a mom who is unkind to her kids.. Moms are over showering their love all the time.. first concern , if you had your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snax . Mother is pure love..
ReplyDeleteHow like the world not to believe, or choose to be blind to the realities of the world just coz THEY have not come across something!!!!
ReplyDelete"for the child, mother is a companion for a shortwhile!" - yes that is/maybe the truth..
ReplyDelete"for a mother, her child is her whole world" - this is not a rule and not in many cases, so wholly unacceptable!!
It was so saddening to read that. My heasr gos out to your friend. What kind of mom can do that? Sadly the world is filled with many moms like that...
ReplyDeleteThe only good thing I could find here was that you and Acha are good friends and I am glad she had you to lean on.
Even if there was a reason from the mother's side it can not justify this act of ignorance towards her own kid. We don't do any favor to our kid by bringing them up. It is our responsibilty towards God, towards the future and towards ourselves. I stand by Shail in this opinion.
Shail---ur very correct. even my mom used to tell me about such kind of moms. she told me the motherhood is always not rosy for some ppl. but i never belived her until i came inot contact with my own exprnce. we are in a society which is blinded by cliches. when u see some thing different we either close our eyes or go in a state of denial. i saw it, i know it, so i accept it
ReplyDeleteKing----ur sis had her reason. but as I have written here, she was more worried about her leave than her daughters surgery.
krishnamoorthy---i too would like to belive like that. but there are exceptions sometimes. when we see and experience such things, its difficult not to accept the truth!
anoop---a roommate is a roommate and a mom is a mom. she expected her moms comfort. i dont know why she behaves like that with her!
juneborn---i dont know.... but its the truth that every mom is not like our "mother" concept. and when we see such things, we realise that things can be different. there is a psychological reason. she favoured her other daughter who was smarter, even though she may never accept it!
sekhar---reason! i dont know! but i too pity her!
arfana---it happened, i hope she never reads this, i have chnged her name, anyways!
dheer---i can say almost all moms are like what u said. but we can never say ALL moms are like that!
shail--i agree with you completely.... i saw it, i felt it.. i know it exists... i cant say why others cant belive cos it has not happened to them.
sab---there are moms like achoos mom. i just wanted you guys to know that fact. i can never be equivalent to her mom. i am just a friend/companion. i helped her, but i was only 22 then, just 4 yrs elder. when you are scared, the safety feeling that ur mom can give is sooo different. she expected that. but she didnt get it.
mY god! moms can be like that?? I feel bad for acchu..I'm thankful to have a mom like mine..eventhough she breathes down my neck all the time..i still love her ....
ReplyDeleteNo way...How could she do this to her own Daughter....sad to read abt Achu
ReplyDeleteHmmm... i know one mom... who doesn't like her kid... because she's a girl!!!!! horrifying indeed... there are mom's with stupid grudges against their own kids... its sad...
ReplyDelete