My hubby and myself are so entirely different in looks. First being the color factor and next being the hair factor and last being the height factor. Honestly this was never a problem for me even from the very beginning of our courtship. [After being in relation with 2 different ppl each for more than 3 yrs, I find my hubby as an entirely different specimen among the male community!!! It was enough experience for me, to recognise a gem out of fakes! If it not been for him, I would have been a bed-ridden, depressed spinster- now, thats another story about my disc injury!!! ]
But he was always aware of our physical difference. And on occasions when he wasn’t aware, our relatives or friends or even strangers commented on this factor. Once in kerala, we always got those “odd†looks even from our neighbours whenever we went out together. Our relatives and neighbours have made fun of us. But we were there only for 2 months after marriage.
Once we landed in Ireland, we never faced such issues. One of the reasons I love Ireland is that. Irish people never compare you and your partner based on your looks! You feel so comfortable without poking stares and smirks. I can hug my husband and kiss him in the middle of the road or in the supermarket. No one stares at me then. I can sing with him while walking thru the road. I can even kick him on his butt! Yea, I always do such funny things while we are on the road. Even inside our office corridors we have our own kind of fun.
Once in the office restaurant, my hubby pestered me a lot and finally I got up and poked him with my fork. The next thing I heard was a bunch of women colleagues laughing and appreciating me for that. They told me that he really needed that! That will never happen in kerala.
In kerala, one of my friends even told me that she is surprised that my parents agreed to marry him (just cos of our different looks!!!).
I have heard the term : Made for each other. Tell me what does it mean? Does it mean the compatibility in looks? Or does it mean the compatibility in hearts?
There is this man who tries to be awake with me, when I cant sleep, even when his eyes are half closed, with sleep. If he is physically different from me, does that mean we are NOT made for each other? How can I ever make others think beyond color and hair???
Note: i dont care a sha-y-it about those comments at all. But those ppl think, by commenting like that they are making me realise my mistake.
Swathi girl...compatibility has nothing to do with physical appearance..I'm sure a lot of people would bring up the example of Amitabh and Jaya....ignore people who comment about you or your husband..they're prolly jealous! and you guys sound soo sweet and romantic..thats all that matters!! the togetherness! :)
ReplyDeletei like this blog . Only in our place people are more concerned about others and like to make opinion about others lives. no one care about others in outside .really i like this when compare with our place.
ReplyDeleteYou said it all,swathi...it is compatibility
ReplyDeleteof hearts that really matters:)
Bravo! kudos to your thinking....with such an unconditional love like that, your relationship is going to last no matter what...wish many more people thought this way.
ReplyDeleteCheers,Trupti
Once, my mom and I went shopping, we were in an arguement right there at the side of the road,she punched me in the head, hahahaha. Hahahaha, hahaha. We were definitely made for eachother.
ReplyDeleteWhether its Kerala or Ireland, this moms gonna punch me
ReplyDeleteCompatibility is definitely not based on looks and like everybody else says, and like you do anyway, don't worry about what others think... Others should be just so lucky to find the love of their lives like you have found in yours. **Hugs**
ReplyDeletenice blog!!Love between two ppl is not based on looks...its on mutual understanding, love, etc...i agree to whatever you said..Your hubby is a great person..
ReplyDeleteSwathi, your posts come from your heart. Thats what I love about them.
ReplyDelete" I loved the child in him
ReplyDeleteso innocent and sweet
The mischief in his eyes
the blush upon his cheek
The tender way he spoke
that showed me that he cared
The touch of his warm hand
that gently touched my hair
The smiles that we shared
that filled my life with glee
For when I was with him
I found the child in me "
Swats !..Exactly as Shail Aunty said !...You write from your heart !..with that certain warmth ..with that touch of love ..with that calmness ( though not always !) ...LOve your blogs !...
No one else can think the way you do ...the way you want it to be !...the way you like it !..no body understands the way your face changes when you are sad ...still holding on to that smile which is fadin away inside ...its the heart that matters Swats !...never the looks !....Naseebwalon ko miltha aise log !....
ReplyDeleteTake care !
cHEeSy !
Swathi, I admire you so much dear friend. I have read almost all your previous blogs and also your anniversary special in which you talked about your hubby. I was so touched and I shared your story with a few of my friends here. It's the marriage between the minds and hearts that makes a couple to be with each other for the rest of their lives. 'Made for each other' concept doesnt actually take into consideration all the aspects of a married couple. I think it will be foolishness on my part to just look at a beautiful couple and say they are made for each other!
ReplyDeleteRegards to your hubby. :)
usually people have more intresnt in teh life of otehrs than they have in their life. those who dosent gaves a damn for them (like you) are who realised the fallaecy of those comments. made for each otehr not at all means physical comaptibility. You are blessed with teh gem of aman... enjoy your life...
ReplyDeleteMade for each other is to comlement each other..
ReplyDeletewhatever I lack, My hubby has.. and Hope vice versa holds true..
together we complete each other, and feel being made for each other !!
Real love is for you to feel and for others to guess... Let the world wonder, you know what gem you have found. And ditto for your hubby. I am sure you must be the catch of the life for him.
ReplyDeleteWill you believe I heard from a friend that an (not to miss, an Indian) aquaintance found quipping that Haris is good looking, but Sabiha doesn't match it up. I had the last laugh at their ignorance coz I only know how crazy my husband is for me. He does love me. More than I love myself!
So wagging tails will wag and more so in India than anywhere else. Blame it on ignorance, jealousy and what not!
We love you sweetheart!
Swathi,
ReplyDeleteWhy you are bothering yourself with a question "How can I ever make others think beyond color and hair???".I am sure it is not your job. Both of You Have a wonderful life of togetherness.
Sweetheart, you just write such profound things, I'm at a loss for words! :-(
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, to hell with 'society' and their 'comments/advice' on how we should live our lives. You go girl!
There is only ONE awesome, handsome, charming, loving and amazing guy in this universe. And every wife/girlfriend has him. :-)
We made for each other - "we" stands for "our heart" and not our "Appeareance".
ReplyDeleteLooks are deceptive and misleading,yet often its the beauty that gets noticed first and foremost and the first attraction to another.....but the effect is only skin deep ...hence the attraction never lasts just as the physical side of things dont.
ReplyDeleteYou need to be lucky i mean it, very lucky to have a life partner u relate to so well with and to have compatiblity of hearts, you both are really blessed.
To hell with ignorance of the people around, they just cant see the love that bonds the two of you...dont let anything bother you its the love you both share that counts nothing else..nothing at all.
jyothi---u r abs correct. thanks dear!
ReplyDeleteanju---may be u know it better as u know how keralites are too interested in others matter!
sindhu---*smiles* thanks alot!
trupti---i pray for the same! thank you!
anel---moms are supposed to punch u, whereever in the planet u r! so beware of her!
lisa---yes i should be so lucky.... i know that and thanks alot lisa!
florussel---*smiles* thank you dear
shail---yea, actaully i wrote it with true feelings. may be thats why it reached ur heart!
cheeeeeze---most of the times i am a child b4 "my" him. and sometimes its the other way round! am i not calm? *glaring and almost losing my calmness* grrr... i am calm... always!
*restoring calmness*. (((HUGS))) thanks! me and my hubby, we both are lucky to get each other after all we went thru in our past. but w/o our past we would never ahve appreciated us each other like we do now.... our past exp (relns) taught us soooo much in our life! i thank them for that!
Pradeep---- first of all thanks from the depths of my heart for ur admiration! yea we have almost completed our second year now, and each time i feel i shoudl have married him earlier in my life! he is the best companion in my life, esp when we are so away from every single blood realtion of us! we are each other's father, mother, brother, sister, friend! every relation bundled into one.
anoop---every moment when i hug him, i thank God for him. we had our initial starting trouble before we fell into each others groove. but marriage when it is stable and happy, is the bliss of life ! and when it turns ugly, it will destroy ur life in every means!
pink---yea, then only a husband and wife can fit inot each other so beautifully....even in small things this rule, u said, applies!
sab---yes, he says i am the catch of the life for him. cos when he married me, the only money he had was 500Rs in hand and zero bank balance . From that 500rs we reached till a house and car. and he thinks its all cos of me (though i didnt contribute anything!).
and about that comment you heard, my hubby heard his own sis telling a similar comment to him . i wasnt there, when she told it... else i would ahve answered her and must have ruined the whole relationship with her for ever!!!!
i would say its jealousy! when they dont have anything else to point out they neeed something to wag on!
and thanks , dear!
Maddy---i was just asking that myself cos i am tired of hearing it. everybody thinks that they are the first to comment . it pisses me off!!!
sneha---loss at words oh! dont be!
There is only ONE awesome, handsome, charming, loving and amazing guy in this universe. And every wife/girlfriend has him. :-)
very true! and who told u r at a loss of words!!!!! that line is the best i have heard!
sekhar--yes, u r very correct!
juneborn---that was a very deep comment. i am lucky, ie the truth may be cos of all the pain in my past! i ahve seen the marriages break up on ego... and when u think that u and ur partner are one single entity ego disappears..and thats whats happened to us! when i quarell he thinks (he says) "i feel like i am quarelling with myself, so i dont feel angry at u!"-isnt it funny? but that simple thot makes our life "quarell-free" always!
made for each other = compatibility of hearts... I guess knowing the worth of ur partner in ur life is the greatest blessing one can get...
ReplyDeleteHey I'm coming in late on this but this is a great post! I think it very much has to do with what's in the heart. The physical part just is between the two people involved.
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing with how family says stuff is so ingrained. I shut it out and tried to ignore it even though it really used to bother my sisters when our aunts would make comments about this one being fat or that one becoming dark etc. Of course it was all directed at my sisters.
I echo Shaila. This came from your heart and it touched me.