Nowadays , me and my mom are quarrelling over one name now, i.e. 'Sasidharan', the owner of the name, being none other than my father.Honestly, none of us didn't expect this kind of situation to occur, when I decided not to change my surname after marriage. My idea was, as I am not going to change my father, after marriage, I wouldn't change my name. My husband thought my decision sounded logical(!!!).Things were ok, till I went abroad. I didn't know the importance of surname there. There I was always Mrs Sasidharan, but wife of Mr. Achuthan (ppl must have wondered, how we got linked up!!!). Things got worse with formal documents such as joint bank accounts. They couldn't address us as 'Mr & Mrs Achuthan'. We always had to explain, things ,at their hesitation. We could do at least that in person. But, what about, formal letters and bank statements? They were all addressed to Mr Achuthan & Mrs Sasidharan!!!! (I can imagine the confused face of the person who would have typed it!!!!! Wondering---"Does Mr Sasidharan have any probm with this or what?"
Now, my mom wasn't aware of this "predicament" until letters from Irish Embassy reached my home addressed to "Mrs Sasidharan". When she first saw it, she was shocked!!. I said.."this is what I am in documents, now". But she isn't willing to share her husband's name with me. She told "Ok, this is it..now u have to change ur name, now". I told "NO, not any cost!!!" And now my husband says the bank acct(and so, the money) is in the name of "Mrs Sasidharan" and not me!!!! My mom and my husband are grouping against me , while my dad and me doesn't have any probm.
What I don't understand is, if Irish bank ppl can accept our names, then why my mom is getting agitated????
Ppl say what is in a name? But I would say "there must be at least something..."!
PS: My mom didn't change her name, when she got married!!
I havent changed my name legally...its stil says my pre-marital surname...but in msgr i changed from naidu to reddy.....stil cant accept that i m now a reddy...always fight with arvind (for fun)...but there is nothing name....everything in the name is a game...just have whatevr u wish to
ReplyDeleteswathi i wonder how it wuld be when a person reads 'Mr.achuthan & Mrs.sasidharan' nowonder one wuld imagine a little story.lol.
ReplyDeletei beileve there is no necessary in changing the surnames.it all depends on person one shld go how he/she feels comfortable.
It's nice to read mother/daughter fight in this manner.....I wud say your mother is the "Legal/moral owner" of the name..Since Atchu is also fighting,why don't you give him the pleasure of calling you as Mrs.Atchu......Anyways keep up ur posting..
ReplyDeleteHey, There is nothing in a name defifnitly it is all in mind. Luckily I dint have to change my name as me and Sachiin have the same surname..i have always wanted this from my childhood not to change the surname, and it did happen..
ReplyDeletei am totally confused for this dramatic consequences, no comments.
ReplyDeletemadhu,came---i think i wont change my surname, anyway! :-)
ReplyDeletepradeep---i think only u noticed the humor, in it!!!
tanvi---great!u r lucky!!
aravind----I think there arose,a lot of confusion,even in this post. One of my early classmates, Binil (binil_thomas), even took the trouble of telling me that my husband's name is not Mr.Achuthan! (he thot it was his first name, while his first name is Sajeevan).
-swathi
Swathi, its a norm in western world for the wife to hve the hus's last name..if a person wishes to keep their last name..they do it like this..ie, they add the last name of hus to their last name and put a hypen in between..so for u..it wud look like..Swathi Sasidharan-Achuthan. This is the only solution..for this confusion..thus ppl will know ur maiden last name was Sasidharan and u r Mrs. Achuthan.U r happy..hus is happy..amma is happy..Case closed...
ReplyDeletethanks itsjustme--that was a wonderful solution~!!
ReplyDelete-swathi
what itsjustme suggested is the best and practical solution for this matter! An example will be Malaika Arora-Khan... this is how she added her husband's surname after marriage.
ReplyDeleteU mother is possessive about her Hus ?.lol!well,add ur hus name with Sashidharan.Of all probs in the world.....lol!
ReplyDeleteoho....me terribly confused...wats there in a name? neways I feel u can add Achuthan with Sashidaran... It's logical:)...but will sound funny....so stay as jus Swathi Sashidaran..
ReplyDeleteAn old old post!! But I got reading it and thought of posting a comment!
ReplyDeleteAll the comments here state, whats in a name. Yeah true enough, whats in a name?? For me something must have been there coz I insisted that my maiden name be changed and my husband's name be added to mine!! I even went to the extent of telling my husband if he didnt do the necessary paperwork for me and I get known by my maiden name only I would never forgive him!! *wink* Well, I am Shailaja 'Mohan' now, just as I wished and wanted to be!! To each one his/her own!!