Wednesday 27 June 2007

An ongoing "Culture Shock"!


When we are born and brought up in one country and are made/choose to live in another-especially very much away, in another continent-“culture shock” occurs-well, kind of…. At least that’s what I read somewhere recently. Now, after two years, I can say that yes that “shock” did occur to me, - though I didn’t know what it was called in the initial days-in understanding the language, the ways and gestures and phrases, and in the ever going attempt to fit into the new community.

But we can’t really blame ourselves if we try to find “Indian-ism” or “non-Indian-ism” in each and every thing we find around us. Be it good or bad. We tend to compare it with the Indian counter-part we are familiar with. Every sentence tends to start with “In India…” or “Imagine, if this happened in India...” but as I said, we can’t be blamed; it’s the result of culture shock.

Like this…At first my jaw dropped, when County Councils put plants with flowers in full-bloom on every roundabout overnight, every spring/summer. And naturally I started thinking “If this happened in India…”.

At the first streak of sunlight, when people here welcome sun in almost-beach-costumes, I think “In India, where we have sun thru out the year, if people walked like this!”.

In summer when roses in red, yellow and cream and pink were in full bloom in almost every sidewalk, I wondered, why people didn’t even try to pluck one. I badly wanted to, but felt as the odd one trying that and calmed myself by sniffing them again and again. May be that “plucking” instinct was part of my Indian-ism!

I reminded myself again and again to say “please”, “thank you”, “sorry” and “excuse me” several times a day. Sometimes I even said “excuse me” five minutes after sneezing – but still, I was trying!

I wondered why the roads were so quiet, even at peak traffic. Then I realized, people never honk, here! They really CAN wait in the traffic for hours, without honking! I also realized that sometimes instead, they showed fingers! In India, we just yelled at each other!

Ireland just had its General election last month. It elected its new Taoiseach (pronounced as T-saak, I think!) aka Prime minister. And guess what, the polling percentage was much much less. Common people seemed least bothered about politicians and elections. They looked as if they were really tired of them! And the excitement of election and new government was seen only in newspaper headlines and TV news!

Having been in India for 27 yrs, I really expected a democratic election to be shaking the country to its roots with banners and marches and everything. Nope... nothing… nothing at all, when compared to the “election-quakes” in India!! There were small square boards on electric poles, and that too were removed just 2-3 days after election! In India, every wall would have been like this:

<------- booked by INC(I) or CPI(M) till 2020---------->


Another thing which made me feel “the shock” was, at the end of every supermarket bill, I could find “you purchased so much Irish products” and all the Irish products were marked with a *. When I first saw it, I thought “Wow, that info is cool”, though it didn’t change anything I bought. But eventually I started looking, how many Irish products I bought and what were they.

In newspapers and in international /national news, the importance to an Irish citizen was given as addressing as “Irishman” not as “Co. Westmeath man” or “Co. Roscommon man”. And I wondered, why in India, we were never referred as “Indian” in newspapers but only as “Kerlalite”, “Tamilian”, “Kannadiga”, “Madrassi” etc…

But again, it’s not my fault that I think like that. It’s just the “culture-shock” I am still feeling, and may feel always!

37 comments:

  1. Oh!! How right you are Swats....especially the last point...Here you ask an Indian, his country of origin, instead of saying 'Indian' he would say 'Kerala'....As if it is a different country altogether...And I must say that this is seen more in Keralites...

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  2. FTC!! Haagen Daaz Pralaine N Cream ice cream for me please...

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  3. I think we better send Courier Boy over to Ireland to know that 'Thank you and 'Sorry' aren't words to shy away from under which illusion he seems to be!! I wonder why many of the Indians have this complex that 'Thank you' and 'Sorry' are words that should not be used!! Some people don't seem to know how to gracefully accept 'thank you' and 'sorry' and such words!!

    Interesting blog Swathi.

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  4. Rajashree!! You ice cream kothichi!!!!!! (A case of the pot calling the kettle black??)

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  5. Rajashree: Hagen Daaz, for you...which flavour? chocolate? yes...keralites are more tend to behave like that, i guess!

    Shail aunty: My husband and I say "please", "sorry" and "thank you" to each other... Guess that is a good thing, being in Ireland!
    so, u are "pot" and rajashree is "kettle"... does that mean one more Hagen Daaz-this time vanilla?

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  6. Living in Gulf its almost like Kerala here. Atleast 50% of the population are keralites here. Groceries, supermarkets, hospitals, Banks, Money exchange. phew. Ppl try their level best to know if you're a mallu too! The next question would be... naatilu evideya? I give them an answer "Dad is from kerala and mom is from Tamilnadu. Dad was brought up in tamilnadu and he fell in love with my mom and married her and i was i tamilnadu all my life" They look at me from head to toe and say... "oh adhaanu ninde malayalathilu oru thappalu" (Loose translation as mumma says: Oh that is why your malayalam sounds broken) And The courier boy also calls me as "Pandiyali" oh how sweet is that? Well... i dont take things serious most of the times. But they should think twice if they sound really fair, before saying such things ! In fact here most ppl dont know if i am a malayalie or a tamilian. I dont prefer showing it too. Ppl think i am from Bombay. As far as i look like a human i am fine with what ever they think about me.

    I have taught my little Prince Pranav to say please, thank you and sorry. The moment he sneezez or burps he immediately says excuse me or sorry. He says please when he needs something. And says sorry when he hurts me knowingly or unknowingly.

    Though i feel proud being an indian and though i love india... there are certain things that pain me about the Country and the ppl which i think wont change until i hit the grave. (Okie strictly my opinion... and i dont want some fanatic ppl to barge on me like how they do when we support other countries for winning in cricket or football. LOL)

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  7. Hei again Swathi.

    It is easy peasy to move from A to B geographically 'in body' with our suitcases of clothes
    and whatnot, but it takes a long long time for our mind, attitude, emotions, thinking and heart to follow!! It applies to within one's own land as well moving from one part of the land to another, of course.

    Tis my own experience moving from country to country and culture to culture, and also moving from Lapland where I was born and where I grew up to other parts of Finland; so I have learned to give myself time, space and place to adjust in peace to the new or as is now the case, back to the 'old' for as you know, I am back in Finland presently - for how long do not know, yet.

    It all takes its time. Period.

    Happiest, as in the most fulfilled personally, is the immigrant and emigrant who has learned to take the best of both - or all as the case may be - countries and cultures one left and combine them with the new!!
    So that this becomes such an added richness into one's life in every way possible which is priceless, methinks.

    BIG HUGZ from Rii xx - who follows your life in Ireland as another ex-pat who was over there with keen interest.

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  8. Rii,
    >>>>Happiest, as in the most fulfilled personally, is the immigrant and emigrant who has learned to take the best of both - or all as the case may be - countries and cultures one left and combine them with the new!!<<<<<
    Rii, how badly i wanted to be like that! Yes, as you have said,it takes time.Period. But i am not being impatient... i am just thinking aloud, on my way to mature as the best immigrant and emigrant!
    And i am just wondering, is it normal, to think like this? does every immigrant/emigrant go thru what i got thru? or is it just me?
    u know what...I can no longer be faithful to one country any more... i tend to defend India and Ireland now,when i hear criticisms... i have always loved India, but now sometimes i hear myself say "this is why, I love Ireland".
    i guess i am on my way of becoming the best immigrant!

    love,
    Swathi

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  9. BABS, do they REALLY say?>>>"oh adhaanu ninde malayalathilu oru thappalu" <<< it sounds soooo insulting!
    >>>As far as i look like a human i am fine with what ever they think about me.<<< LOL.... i liked that aloooooot...
    and about that last sentence....
    Last day my husband was telling he is going to support Ireland by waving Irish flag in the India-Ireland cricket match here. His reason was , as both flags were similar in color we could use one....
    Now, i think he must have been serious!

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  10. Hei Swathi.

    It is perfectly normal and 'within the norm' to feel like the way you do at present over there as an alien in an alien land.

    To be 'processed' into the new and to personally process the new strange land: its language, its culture, its landscape, its people, its media,its sense of humour, et cetera; Yes, it is a process and rather painful at times, I think.

    BUT SO MUCH WORTH IT!
    You are nearly there, I'd say, with the two years you have had of living & life a la Ireland and these thoughts of yours do show the great progress you have already made in this process of being processed and processing!!

    The crux of the matter will be again when and if you change back to where you came from or to another culture and country - the same process will be repeated... Not a bad thing at all, at all, for it makes us take stock of our own values, life & living and 'the very being of our person' that is you and that is me.

    Liked BABS's brilliant comment very much, too.

    Enjoyed this entry massively - tis only brill, you kno!!

    Slán, Rii xx

    PS.
    I have been re-posting some of My Travelogues from Dublin when I was over there last year this time. Do have a lookie and a read, if you wish. And this is my FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON IRELAND in this link
    http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-L.4Ja7wjcq_FIYh4LliFReM-?cq=1&p=233

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  11. LOL lots of them say that to me... and i stand there just smiling. Its not that i dont know to answer them. I just think that they are ignorant and i just ignore them. They are nothing but fanatics. They are not worth my attention. They also say that i dont have a malayalie look. gegege prolly they expect me to put a can of oil on mah head and pour the water on it and walk around having a head like the eeshwaran shethram yenna chatti. Sorry... i dont belong to that category... i dont prefer to walk around stinking like the old savories LOL I prefer oiling and washing and smelling good in the end :-D Ah sorry for this loooooooong comment. But cudnt stop. Some ppl are like that Swat... they are fed with certain concepts which cant be changed.

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  12. And ho ive too felt the same lookin at the Ireland flag which has the same colors of the Indian flag except for the ashoka chakra and the lions :-)

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  13. lol arent those lions in the coins? oopz i forgot our own flag :-O Gawd to hell with my bad memory

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  14. i think i could write the same.. just change a few of the irish related stuff to US/america.
    Like they (dont ask me who), "you can take an indian out of India, but not India out of an indian"

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  15. Hei yet again Swathi.

    Back for more. HEEH
    You know what the greatest shock was in Ireland for me and the next one to it?!

    That it was SOOO C-O-L-D in Ireland INSIDE the houses and that the coffee was soooo BAD!
    Real bad as in AWFUL then when I arrived there in 1980! Now it has improved.

    HUGZ from moi. xx

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  16. no worries,everything takes time..but then once u get over it... i feel 1 shud embrace da change;)
    n also I agree with wot Rii has juss said...

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  17. OH yes, when i came here, i felt the same thing..ie how nice if India is also the same..

    I feel one thing we all forget is the population of India. I am not sure Ireland will be the same as it is today if it has similiar density of population. Here when i came the traffic was less.. everybody was following the rules..now the traffic has increased.. u know people are behaving the same way how we behave back home...

    In the recent GONU.. most of the complex were looted taking advantage of the situation...

    Yes as u said we yell a lot, especially when two vehicles met with a accident, in India one can imagine the situation... oh here what will happen .. they will get down .. kiss each other.. well males also kiss here ..it is a formal greeting here....i was astonished, how come these people dont get angry when somebody hits ur vehicle..

    oh yes....we give much importance to demography..mm

    I find back home it is a very fast world and it is a question of survival of the fittest.

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  18. I have been stopped and asked 'Are you from Gujarat/ Andhra Pradesh by strangers of Indian origin? And I reply, no I am from India. I mean we all are close to our home town, home states, but the country should come first.

    Also Swathi, keep in mind, ours is a developing nation, stricken with poverty, lack of education and above all lawlessness... so the culture is also pretty different in about abiding and respecting the law. Same goes about common courtesy and manners. I think all the good things which we can learn from developed nations are royally ignored and what is imbibed is so superficial...

    I moved to US about 8 years back, and though I am settled now, initially I too wondered about the differences and felt the 'culture shock'.

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  19. Sabiha: I dont know how long it will take for me to completely overcome culture-shock...but humans get adapted very quickly and so may I...yes, I know we (Indians) are different... but still cant stop myself from thinking those comparisons (both good and bad!), whenever i see a difference.. guess that happens to every expat in the initial settling stages!!

    i am still on my way of fitting in without widened eyes and questioning thots!!...

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  20. first of all let me congragulate you... This blog is excellent... enikku ishtapettu...

    now coming back to the issue... In india the diversity factor is high... and also the people they are very enthusiastic and they take everything in high spirits... for instance I dont think any other ational cricket team will ever get the importance in its own country as the indian team gets... ans same is the case of politics...

    to do as the romans in rome is very interesting and we get to learn a lot....

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  21. and now coming back to the allegations against me.... nde ponnu shailaja chechi (my gold elder sister Shailaja).. well even i dont have the impression that they are not words to shy away from... and i do use these words and accept them from people... it is just a case of double standard...

    Ifu were a european lady then i would have surely used the words sorry, thankyou and please.. and in india especially in kerala these words are not commonly used.. even in malayalam... for eg. have you ever heard a person say.."thangakl dayavu cheythu enikku oru chaya undakki tharamo?" which means "can you please make me a cup of tea?".. we just say.. "oru chaya tharamo?" athre ullu (thats it)...

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  22. WOw, Good post Swatz.
    Being in INdia, when I meet/ read/ chat/ talk with any other countrymen, I feel that we Indian confesses all the differences only when we're in other country.
    remaining in the country, we take evth as granted and we are so hypocrite with general ideas.
    The bluntness, rudeness.... it's still there.

    Any culture it may be, basic humanity remains same through-out.... and That's the beauty of adapting anywhere on Earth. How true about calling Indians just Indians instead of anth regional... Hope it ever happens.

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  23. Great post, Swathi!
    And reg the newspapers referring to us as Keralite,Tamilian etc I recently read an article in the local papers where the headlines were "Hindu locals save Muslim kids" reg a school bus accident in which the kids in question belonged to Anjuman-e-Islam school.I was just wondering, was the emphasis on Hindu & Muslim really necessary?I mean , in an accident ,anyone nearby would rush to help the kids in distress.

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  24. *wondering whether words like nandi, nandri, shukriya etc where imported to India from Europe*

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  25. swathi, i really liked this post... but i think ppl down here in kerala have started to say sorry and please ans thankyou.. atleast the younger generation. i come to hear it while travelling etc..

    anyways, i do usew those words a lot (ente kaarya saadhyathinu vendi[**winks**)

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  26. Wonderful to know so much about Ireland and Irish people. Well, most of them seems to be quite impossible to implement in India. No honking of horns in traffic blocks? Wow, that's cool. And no election 'quakes'? I am so much praise for Ireland! Wonderful people indeed.

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  27. Being from India i guess you are different but you know what!!! I sure do like you!!

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  28. Trust me, you can get culture shock within a country as well... When we moved from New York to North Carolina everything (almost) you said was the same way I addressed things down south, "Well, in New York..." always comparing the differences. Here in Pennsylvania, the culture shock isn't 'as' bad because it's a mixture of country and city-life, but still there are a lot of differences here that you definitely wouldn't find in New York, or even North Carolina and so you still hear me and the kids say, "Well in New York..." or even now, "At least in North Carolina..." lol it's funny.

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  29. Dear Swathi, From what you write I get the impression that what Indians face there is (lack of our culture) shock. Culture is not Mohiniattam, or Kathakali, culture is reflected in the way people react to each other, especially the marginalised, the infirm, the weak and the elderly. Good culture is not grabbing but giving, not hurrying but waiting etc. In Kerala nobody has time for others, let alone say excuse me or sorry, its a completely materialistic dog eat dog world. We wouldnt dream of planting roses but rather plucking it off the neighbours garden. Time for introspection write more articles like this.

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  30. Tonight I read Rii's post about settling emigrating and now yours, both of which I relate to. After my 3rd year here, I can say it gets easier. After being married to an Englishman for the 6 years I was before I moved here, and also having many English friends and colleagues, before, I didn't expect I'd experience a culture shock - it surprised me when I did. It was milder perhaps than what you felt/feel but still I experienced it, and I experienced the isolation (which I described in my own recent blog) from all things familiar. But as Rii so beautifully put it, and you have conceded, when we accept, we adapt and then we begin to relax and enjoy our new environment. Feel free to contact me to compare notes.. you are not that far away.

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  31. Loved this post, as it brought back a lot of memories of my first impressions here. Maybe I will write one more blog about it. One thing is sure.. what took 25 or so odd years to form cant be changed in 2 or 3 years, it will require that many years to change. We might adapt or maybe Copy well enough to be look like the others in the country we live but I dont think that basic "buddhi/avivek" of being Indian will go away anytime soon. The kids born in those countries will have an easier time(or NOT).

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  32. Indians lack Universal Etiquitty...Bcoz nobody cares to make them aware of it.....reason is simple .....Bcoz most doesnot know...Those who are know are discouraged....

    Most ppl asked me about my religion .....I always replied Human Being.....Luckly they never ask me ...which state ...They ask me which country...bcoz most are confused ...whether I am sudanese or Indian...
    Paks says ...they 've never seen a mallu as big as me....lol

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  33. excellent blog...now having wandered across deserts of saudi and gulf.. and jungles of africa...i must say few Indianisms are universal and actually we get spotted because of these mannerisms...
    swathi has covered many points ( spots..)..talking of spots..( to move away fom the topic for few seconds) and for the sake of animal lovers..spots are a very good way differentiating between jaguar and a leopard..
    so..we indians have some extraordinary idiosyncracies, as most people do, no matter what the nationality..
    a few more...( and no disrespect to anybody...)

    a) most queues are straight ... our queues are radial with 3 or more emanating from counter in different directions..and there is always a smart alec..(..ok smart kutty) who is just about investing his mind on the 4th line, and he usually does so by striking a talking relationship with the first guy in the third radial queue..

    b) Spitting in public, after making a coarse throaty sound, is sign of manhood...

    c) We somehow believe honking can clear traffic...

    d) We don't hesitate in asking personal questions like ..."what is your salary..?" and "How many kids you have.?" after about 65 seconds we meet a person..

    anyways more in my own blog...later..

    By the way .."What is your salary..?" .....lol

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  34. Very interesting, these cultural differences.
    I was born and raised American, then married a Frenchman, so I have some experience in this area also.
    :-)

    French people aren't very good at making a straight line either. In a small shop, you must see who is there when you arrive and when they have been waited on, then you know it is your turn.

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  35. Hi, i am here from Rii's, very realistically written, but after a few years here and when back in India,we start thinking the other way round too,why are people so rude in between the trafic and the big car guy holds the colar of a rikshaw driver when it is his own fault,or why do the lady upstairs throw an odd look when i say hi in the lift, or why dont this stranger smile back when i smile at her in the park, or why does a vender seems confused when you thank him at the end of a purchase and hundred more things like that.

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  36. so true.I guess I'm still so much Indian in both my thinking & appearance...may be because I haven't started working yet.
    But all that changes once you join a job...you need to mingle
    with the local people & that makes a lot of difference,doesn't it?

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  37. @In newspapers and in international /national news, the importance to an Irish citizen was given as addressing as “Irishman” not as “Co. Westmeath man” or “Co. Roscommon man”.

    There even Pakisthani and Bangala people are called Indian and not Asian. Hope Pakistani and Bangala will learn something about it.

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