Today I was a little bit sceptical about life as a whole… happened to read one of my friends blog and depression creeped into my mind like a bacteria and its gnawing on my mind/heart. I mourn with others.. is that a good thing??? “never†is what my hubby says. Similar things bothered me, 4-5 days back and literally I lost my sleep. I wake up at 1 am and 4 am and used to walk around the house. I used to say things about it when I was half asleep and my hubby got really worried. He took an appointment for my insomnia and one day before that , ie yesterday, I slept w/o waking up 4 times in the middle of night. So finally I got over that…
Now its again…my mom is again admitted to hospital…couldn’t even talk to me. I would love to bring her here with me, but she is so frail that she cant withstand the cold climate here. And miles apart from me, with no other kids for her, to look after, I am so helpless. I feel guilty for coming here, with her there. As they know that I will make a fuss, they won’t call me up and tell anything. If I miss her call, I have to assume that she is sick. And almost every time, my assumption will be correct…
I don’t know what to write…her life got wasted for me… and I cant give anything in return.
Every single day she called me, and i will be damn busy with wrk and i cut her call very quickly.. today when she didnt call, i shud have realised how mean i was, with her!
NOTE [19 July] : i called her today morning. she is fine.. she is recovering!!!
thanks guys for ur support !
That SOOOO not the swats i know !...i hope she is fine !...ANd will pray from my side !...And mind you ...GOD hears my prayers so fast ...and always ...ask my sis !...Dont worry !...
ReplyDelete" her life got wasted for me " ....COmon swats !....Never say that again !....She's got such a sweet daughter who couldn't be any more sweeter !....comon Cheer up Swats !..I hope u are fine !
ReplyDeletethanks manu...!! thanks a bunch!
ReplyDeletepray for some time and sleep dear !...Nothin will happen !...i just cant leave this page until ya say u are fine !......get over those stupid thoughts !...GAWD i thought grown ups are better !...Nah ...u are just like me !.....I Pray then !....I will for ya !...
ReplyDeletecould ya delete that line ...PLease !....the last two !...please !...nevr even think like that tto !...
ReplyDeleteMAnu !
PS : will be checkin on you till ya say " GET OUT OF MA PAGE " ...
am not going to delete any line.. let it be...and i am fine... its all the circumstances...tomorrow when she is up and running [like the solaris server we have got], i will even forget what i wrote here!
ReplyDeleteand who told grown ups are better! my mom is worse than me, in these kinda things!
ReplyDeleteTake care !....
ReplyDeleteSwathi, please don't say her life got wasted. She invested her time and attention in you... to turn you into a fine person that you are. Thoughtful, sensitive and caring. Being a mom I can vouch how much pride our hearts hold when we see all our hardwork turn into fine invidual human beings.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't feel bad about taking her for granted... just do whatever you can in little or big ways to let her know that you love her.
Swathi, wishing you happiness and a speedy recovery to your mom. You are in my prayers. Take care my friend. Trust in God and be positive. I am sure if your mom got a whiff of this mail she will be one sad person... so you better snap out of that depression. Cheer up!
Take care,
Much love,
Sab (your fellw virgo friend)
din i say i will be here till you are fine !,...yeah !...Mom said it the best way !...sorry for being rude in there !
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others, NOTHING a mom does for her kids are ever "wasted" so you shouldn't even feel like that... I wish you didn't feel like that. I'll be praying for your mom also and sending good thoughts her way... but just remember... her life was NOT "wasted" on you... her life was spent loving and caring for you, and making sure you get what you deserve out of life, as all good mothers do. **HUGS**
ReplyDeleteSAB, LISA -- i am not a mother yet.. that makes the differencei shud say... and thanks a million for ur prayers! love you!!!
ReplyDeletehmmm...am not gud at saying comforting words. But as far as I know u thru ur blog, u r a very strong lady who has seen tougher times and sailed thru. As someone said...we all get the most appropriate 'crosses' to carry thru our lives...its neither too heavy nor too light. Just apt. Thats life.And u know much more about life than most of us.
ReplyDeleteExpecting a happy post very soon. Your mom will just be fine. Lots of prayers..
Not only you, all who are away from parents will feel like this. I pray for ur mom's recovery.
ReplyDeletehey swathi,
ReplyDeleteam a silent reader of your blogs and find it very interesting...come on...cheer up your amma will be fine.
As how Sab and Cheesespread a.k.a Manu has said, never say that she wasted her life for you. She is really proud to have a daughter like you, I'm sure. Ask her and you will know how right I and several others on this blog page are.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so glad that she is doing fine now. I hope you will change the appearance of your blog, now. Pls send her my special regards and lots of kisses and hugs.
The blog page is cute... but kind of gloomy and sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd its definitely not Swathi...
ReplyDeleteSwathi,
ReplyDeleteGood to know from highlighted message that your Amma is fine and recovering. Let your love and affection bring her to you as soon as possible.Take care of yourself too..
Happy to read you Blast that she is ok now and geting recover......
ReplyDeleteme too i will pray for her recovery....n u take care.
Living away from parents does bring that constant anxiety. But always pray and hope for the best and only the best would come through. Will pary for your mom's speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteoho...take care of urself:)
ReplyDeleteDOnt thank us !....Thank HIM !
ReplyDeletemanu--HIM? i started thanking HIM every day, once i realised the stupidity of taking things for granted...even for my mobility... learned the hardest way!
ReplyDelete