May 1, was my achachan's 2nd death anniversary.He was the best granddad for me. But it wont be fair, if I give a blind eye to other behavioral traits of him.
He was a never forgiving brother, who kept revenge inside his mind for years, till his death. The story of extreme love which turned into extreme rivalry started long before my mom's and my birth. Achachan's brother was 15 yrs younger to him. So achachan took the responsibility of teaching him and finally getting him a job in Penang (the then Malaya).
They both had their ancestral property together as a single one. I don't know how, but as it is heard that one fine morning, my other achachan's sons (we called him also achachan, as they looked very much alike!) divided the property , acquiring some portion from my achachan's. This happened when I was 2 or 3 yrs old. Soon it turned into a property fight b/w achachan and his brother. Each side had their children fighting for their fathers. Actually the fight was not in the name of property. The main reason was ego clash b/w the two brothers. Achachan couldn't accept that his youngest brother, who was almost a son to him, did that to him. There ended the extreme love and started the extreme rivalry. They didn't see each other or talked to each other for next 23 yrs (till the "younger" achachan died!!!).
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On this May1, I saw achachan's photo in the news paper in obituary column. But along with that, just on the right side of it, was his younger brother's (our "other" achachan) photo, in the same category. Ironically he also passed away on May 1, but 5 yrs back. Till their deaths, they never met. Now after their death, they meet in the obituary column.
Seeing this I called my cousin (my mom's sisters daughter--- the third generation) and told her to take a look at the two achachan's photos. I told her "See....everything ends here...for all their 23 yrs of rivalry and hatred, the final end was here....after all, this is where it ends....." and she was silent for a minute and said "Yes, chechi (sister), after all those fights , they ended up sharing same obituary space in a single news paper".
May be if she understood the deeper meaning, this fight wont be dragged into the third generation, I.e., between me and her !!!
Sorry about it ..:(
ReplyDeleteSorry for dat :( Hope everything really ended...
ReplyDeletehope everything is fine...
ReplyDeletejanu, honey, shini---nothing is fine dear...the feud is on...
ReplyDeleteyup...its very difficult to see an end to such feuds. Have heard of such stories in our family too...
ReplyDeleteProbably some properties have some curse attached to it...
whatever happen...happens..lets hope for best for now onwards...i hope their soul is in peace now...
ReplyDeleten u Take Care
try to remove the hardness between the two families with help of your cousin.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the obituary goes, that is really something else. Sorry that problems still seem to stem from it all though. **Hugs**
ReplyDeleteSorry to know...and I hope and believe She has gotten the message from You :)
ReplyDeleteI pray the rivalry ends Here...
Smiles
What you have done by keeping contacts with them is absolutely right. I was in a similar situation with my cousins too, as I have mentioned in my “My lost joint family” post. I listened to my parents or was powerless or foolish enough to listen to them and stop all my communications with my cousins because of the ego wars between our parents. Even though, thankfully now everything is getting back to normal, I still regret that I dint have the guts to call them up and thus waste 7 years.
ReplyDeleteThe same thing has happened in our family too with us not getting to meet our many cousins. I am glad that you have taken the initiative to show your cousin the futility of such fights. May be the third generation will put an end to it. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteguess all have some thing to share on that account !...As they all comes to end hre ...in those pages !..Hope it works out fine !
ReplyDeleteSince you have taken the correct initiative, there will not be a clash between you and your cousin. Soon the hatred will end. You are the beginning to an End.
ReplyDeleteswathi hope everthing goes well from now,its good that u r in touch with ur cousin,hope it works and the dispute ends from now on.takecare
ReplyDeleteLuckly, nothing like this happened in our family. May be coz our ancestrol property is still undivided ;) (itz undivided for the last few generations...)
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDeleteVery meaningful. There are lot of old generation rivalry we can end. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteWhen you have a chance to step away for a bit and look at the whole thing objectively you realized how silly it is to fued like this. The people who live in the middle of it never can be objective. If your cousin and you make a pact never to be fighting over something like this and most importantly keep that promise for the sake of the coming generations, then you two can make it right! Good luck!
ReplyDelete